Patricia Life Journal

Sunshine?

2012-02-07T22:58:00.010+08:00

I have decided to write today because there are many things that are going through my mind right now. I have no one to talk to, no one to share, no one to trust, much less a shoulder to lean on.

Many of us experience many different kind of things in life. We view many things differently. Being a young teenager, I am no difference from the rest, probably just by the nature of our behaviour. According to the research, I am born in the Generation X often known as the "Born to Shop" generation. In addition, I think Generation X also born to club, play, slack, smokes at young age and et cetera (I don't club nor smokes by the way). Most teenagers are immature and out of curiously they like to try/venture into many new things. Such examples are tongue piercing, naval piercing, drinking, smoking, pre-marital sex, getting into a relationship as young as 10 and etc.

Personally I have experience rather a lot as compared to most normal teens. Especially relates to being a strong and independent woman who gone through a few physical abused and emotionally breakdown many times. Often when I looked back into my past, I pity myself for landing myself into such a terrible states. I could have got myself out earlier, but still being ever foolish I stayed on. Chances are given. Anyway life moves on.

However every action has its' consequences. My past brought me much struggle in my present lives. I struggle with emotional despair that often I failed to control myself and breakdown eventually. I tried to live my life to the fullest by thinking positively. However whenever I am alone, I felt a lost in sense of direction. Life became worst when I have to deal with school work and project stress level.

I am really sorry that I have been complaining so much to my close friends about my projects and mates. I am really mentally exhausted when I have to deal with work stress and emotional stress. Nonetheless, my project friends will always be my closest friends I have ever met in TP. Especially Jezelle who were always there to support me, giving me encouragement and asking me to relax. Even though I did most of the work especially during the compilation till late midnight, I don't hold grudges nor do I hate them. I don't mind doing all the work by myself if only I wasn't mentally tired most of the time. I wish I know the reason why I get tired easily. - I prayed that I could be better in my own time management so I wouldn't get so stress up last minute and start complaining. I am partly to be blamed for causing the stress in my project.

Once I was given so much hope in life for me to look for. Everything was just being positive. I woke up smiling blissfully, looking forward to all the challenges I am going to face.

But tell me how am I suppose not to think or grouch when certain behaviour in life changes? I may be naive but I am not dumb to the extend that I can't tell the differences? Tell me, is it my depression level that is causing me to feel negatively most of the time or is it the changes?

Back to general nature of behaviour, I am sorry but I have to conclude this way.

Leaving me in suspend to make assumption are bad & for every one. I choose to not make any assumption and keep telling myself everything is not true. Then only will I be happier.

Honestly, I am confused. I don't know what to believe and what's not. I choose to believe in miracle. But harsh reality slapped my tons.

all i ask is for someone to be there to shower me with all concerns, love and happiness.

is that really difficult?

-----------------------------------to end off:

(Can't find a quote that is not related to love-.-)

What are Trust? Promises? #YouShouldNeverTrust ; you tell me who.

Probably it is better not to know than to know. But it is not better to not know than not knowing.

Because many of us doesn't like to be left in suspend. Therefore we choose to know the harsh fact than not knowing.Often breakdown as a result.

Nothing hurt more than this.....

Perhaps everything are just so coincidental.

CNY 2012

2012-02-01T22:51:00.003+08:00

A very HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR to all the chinese out there!

This year is a very special year for me. CNY doesn't even feel like CNY at all. Totally tight down by projects and school work. On a brighter note, this is my first year doing my CNY shopping online.

Guess what? I bought the above halter dress at Gipsy Scarlet and this dress was GORGEOUS! I look good in it. =) You can check out their website for more choices of lovely apparels!! Good quality of material and customer service! Blog shopping with them would let your mind at ease.

Lighting of the picture was not too bad, taken this picture at MBS hotel.

TODDLES! will continue update more as soon as my exams are over!!

Without Words by Park Shin Hye

2012-01-28T22:28:00.003+08:00

I like this song very much! <3 It's a Korean drama show.

Hajimalgul geuraessuh
Mo reunchuk haebuhligol
Anbo ee neun guetchorom
Bohl soo obneun gotchorom nol haye
Bo jee mal gul geuraetnah bwa

Domangchil gol geuraessuh
Motdeuleun chog geurolgol
Deut ji do mot ha neun chog
Deuleun suobneun gotchorom haye
Nae sarang deut ji ahneul gol

Chorus
Maldo obshi sarangeul algae hago
Maldo obshi sarangeul naegae jugo
Sumgeol hana jo cha nol dam gaehae no kho
Ee rokhae do mang ga ni ka
Maldo obshi sarang ee nareul ddona
Maldo obshi sarangee na reul bo ryeo
Museun maleun halji damun eebi
Hon ja so nollan gotgata

Maldo obshi wa so
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/p/park_shin_hye/without_words.html ]
Wae ee rokhae appeunji
Wae ja ku man appeunji
Nol bolsu obdaneun go
Naega obdaneun go mal go
Mo du yaejon goa tokkateun gon dae

Chorus

Maldo obshi nunmulri heullo naeryeo
Maldo obshi gaseummi mu no jyeo ga
Maldo obneun sarangeul gidarigo
Maldo obneun sarangeul apahago

Nok shi nagoboryeo
Baboga dwe boryeo
Haneulman bogo oo nikka

Maldo obshi ee byeol ee nareul chaja
Maldo obshi ee byeol ee nae gae wa so
Chunbi domothago noreul bonaeyahaneun
Nae mami nollan gotgata
Maldo obshi wa so

Maldo obshi watt daga
Maldo obshi ddonaneun
Jinagan yeol byeong chorom
Jamshi apeun myeon dwenabwa jakku
Hyeong tto man namgae twe nikka

English Meaning given by internet:

*should've ignored what i felt
what i felt deep in my heart
coz now i don't even know
how to start letting you go
oh yeah
it hurts so bad i can't explain

i should've just ran away
beside you i just can't stay
coz i know that we won't be
more than friends it's clear to see
oh yeah
coz in your heart is where she'll be

Chorus:
without words you have shown me what love is
without words your name is what my heart screams
it breaks me just to know
that you really love her so
i'll try my best that it won't show
without words you have made me feel so much pain
without words feels like i have drowned in the rain
and i was such a fool to believe
that there was really you and me
without saying a word

i'll pretend that i don't hear
my heart whenever you're near
and though it doesn't subside
whenever our worlds collide
i know
someday i'll learn to let you go

without words you have shown me what love is
without words your name is what my heart screams
it breaks me just to know
that you really love her so
i'll try my best that it won't show
without words you have made me feel so much pain
without words feels like i have drowned in the rain
and i was such a fool to believe
that there was really you and me

without a word i really don't know why
to you i'd never learn to say goodbye

Problems with socialising

2012-01-27T02:27:00.004+08:00

I always have problem with socialising in a big group. Often enough, I landed myself in an awkward situation of my own. I am not giving up in learning how to communicate in a big group. Therefore I went to research and this is what I get.

One of the most nerve-wracking situations for many people is attending social events, particularly those where you don't know anyone else. If you're like many people, you have visions of yourself standing alone, looking awkward, sweating, and sneaking out the side door early.

Socializing is difficult for many people. Why? For one, it's a perfect opportunity for rejection. After all, if you say or do something stupid, it's very easy for the other person to move on to someone else if they find your conversation dull.

Or another scenario is one where you're stuck at a table with a bunch of other people you don't know, and you envision yourself staring at your plate all through the meal, completely at a loss of words.

These fears are very common and normal. That's good. It means that, if you feel this way, you're not alone. It also means that when you're feeling awkward in a social situation, others are as well.

Even some people who appear to be completely at ease may have a jumble of nerves and self-doubt inside. So what's the solution?

If you are the person who speaks out first, makes the first move, and begins a conversation, you're taking the pressure off the other person. No longer are you now the one who is awkward at socializing, but you are now someone who is focused on the other people attending.
Changing your frame of mind in this way can be very helpful. It's also more helpful than changing your frame of mind in other ways, such as using alcohol or other medications (unless you've had a thorough check-up with a doctor who has prescribed anti-anxiety medications).

It's true that alcohol can put you at ease and make starting a conversation much easier. The problem is that it also makes it much easier to take another drink, and another, and before you know it (or don't), you really are saying or doing something stupid.

Unless you are absolutely confident (no pun intended) in your ability to control your drinking, avoid using this method as a solution to your social fears.

After you have reminded yourself that many other people there are feeling just as nervous as you are, try striking up a conversation. This is easier than it may seem--or at least, it does become easier with practice. One of the best ways to start a conversation is to ask questions.

Then keep asking them. People like to talk about themselves, and it's also a subject that we all know well--so this avoids awkward moments trying to discuss the latest political issue or historical fact that someone may not be "up" on for whatever reason (life can get in the way sometimes).

The key to making this work, however, is to actually be interested in what the other person has to say. If you're constantly looking around, interrupting, or giving other signs that you're not interested, you'll quickly offend the other person, who may well walk away. Then you will find yourself in the situation you're trying to avoid.

When possible, take a buddy with you. Just be sure that you don't hide in the corner only talking to each other. Instead, use the "buddy system" to meet new people together. It's always easier when you have someone on your side.

Simply knowing that at least one other person there likes you and is rooting for you can give you an instant confidence booster as you reach out to new people.

Using the buddy method is also a great way to practice before you have to strike out on your own, which is likely to happen at least once in your lifetime. Feeling prepared will make you feel much more confident when you do find yourself in this scenario.

Forcing yourself to learn new social skills is scary. You are taking a risk. However, once you make the effort, even if it doesn't go as well as you'd hoped, you can feel better about yourself knowing you made the effort. Next time will go better. Give yourself credit for trying.

I will give it a good try next time when I am out socialising, having a chill-out with my friends.

Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to express your opinions. If someone insults you, just ignore them. The people who are jealous and hate you will be outnumbered by the people
1

who love you for being yourself.
2
Be optimistic. Even if you are feeling really down, remember that there's always something out there to smile about. A positive outlook will make people want to be around you a lot more. Be cautious, however. There's a point where optimism can be annoying. Don't be too optimistic.
3
Crack a joke. (Having a sense of humor is important, but don't get too carried away, there are some things you have to be serious about.If you joke about your friend in a rude way it could damage your relationship with them.)
4
Smile as much as you can! Signs of encouragement let people know you care about what they are saying. But have a reason to smile. Make it clear you have a reason to smile with humor or optimistic words. Smiling without a reason, or smiling too much may creep people out.
5
Share interesting/silly ideas. Your thoughts can open up many doors that can lead to friendship.
6
Listen more than you talk. Instead of nodding and smiling and occasionally wiping the drool off your face, try to take what the person says and run with it. Add your own thoughts into the mix - but don't hijack the conversation.
7
Start by doing little things if you are very reserved. For example, every time you go to school, work, or wherever, say hello to one person and have a one-on-one conversation with them.
8
Say "hello" to those that don't talk much. (Share something about yourself, such as where you're going or why you're there. Avoid talking about the weather - as Tom Waits says, "Strangers talk about the weather." Try to compliment them.
9
Don't expect perfection out of anyone, especially yourself. For example, if you forget your own name while introducing yourself (which probably won't happen), just make fun of the situation.
10
Be Patient. If you are still among strangers, the apprehension of a conversation may cause a delay in comments. Don't worry, that will go away in short order.
11
Talk to older people, maybe even your own folks. They will be less likely to ridicule you, therefore making it easier to learn to talk well.
12
Place importance on making social contacts. The people who are considered popular may not be the sharpest tacks in the box, but they are acquainted with important people who may contribute to their future careers. It is never too late to feel that being popular is important. If your work environment allows for it, host a party, organize a sports game, etc.
13
Love yourself. It is difficult to like others when you do not appreciate yourself for who you are. Try exercise to improve your self-esteem. Start your journey to "self-discovery."
14
Be loyal. Little things count. If you make an appointment, be on time. If you're in a group, show up early, and stay late (even if you don't have anything to say at the moment).
15
Be nice to others. Always give compliments, but don't try too hard. If you are shy, take a deep breath and risk it - you never know what might happen. Again, if you are shy on the outside but a little crazy on the inside, let it out once in a while. Wear your hair up high and spin around or dance. Others will laugh and find you funny and fun to be with.
16
Try not to be defensive over something that is possibly your own issue. For example, don't shout, "Why are you so prejudiced?" or "Why don't you like women?" when due to past situations you may just be overly sensitive. Try to always believe the best of others and give them the benefit of the doubt that can go a long way in getting to know the real person. If it turns out they are a bigot, then move on to befriend the next person and don't waste any more energy. It may take a few tries to find friends that "click." And anyway, if you're arguing with someone about something stupid such as shoes, drop it. Try to get out of arguments that are dumb. If you're arguing because you were sticking up for your friend such as something like someone was making fun of her and you were trying to stand up for her, then I completely understand.
17
Be honest. Lying will make people not want to be your friend any more, because they will not trust you anymore.
18
Respect everyone, no matter what they think or say. They are a person and deserve to be treated with respect. If you treat people well they will treat you the same.
19
(Build confidence)Try to get younger friends if you are in middle school. Hanging out with kids a year or two younger than you will help build confidence, which will help you with kids around your own age. I know, no one wants to hang out with the 10 year old next door. But i promise just hang out and talk to them and your confidence will skyrocket!
- Avoid saying something that could be taken the wrong way, but don't over-analyze what you want to say. If you think about it too much, not only will you miss out on your chance to contribute to the conversation, but what you do end up saying might sound scripted and unnatural.
- A pendulum has to swing in the opposite direction before it lands in the middle, so if you have too much of a problem over-thinking things, first let go of it allowing for errors or failed attempts -- and let yourself say things that could be taken the wrong way (be inaccurate) until you get the hang of it, and then learn how to "filter" out those errant efforts at conversing and associating for fun and friend.
20
Find people who share your interests. Get up, move and join a group of classmates that has similar interests whether at lunch or at a party. In that environment, it would be easier to meet people and make friends. And it's fine if your friends don't have much in common with you as long as you both are happy and comfortable. If they judge/don't approve of something you do, they aren't friends. If they don't approve of you smoking for example, don't look at it the wrong way. They're only trying to protect you. So, don't remain on the edge looking in; your move...

Thoughts. Mood: confuse, scared

2012-01-07T23:13:00.001+08:00

Honestly, I don't feel like doing any work. Just can't seem to put myself down and focus on doing my work. I am afraid, scared and completely restless.

Lord, help me! Give me the power and strength!! Stop me from being moody and help me to focus! Really what's more important now, I must be able to complete and later relax&enjoy my life.

Insecurity

2012-01-07T02:16:00.004+08:00

Happy New year folks! This is going to be a short post.

I saw this image on my sexy bit*h, Jezelle Yee's blog and here I am decided to post about insecurity.

Three years plus of experiences and after-which I am on my own. I have seen more or less how a person being insecure could affect many things around us. Take relationship for this instance. My past relationship was being destroyed because of insecurity. I would not elaborate further but trust me, never put yourself in a situation whereby you get insecure over your love one.

Have a complete trust on the things he/she tells you. If he/she make an effort to tell you that they loves you, then BELIEVE!

If you refuse to believe in your love one, the chances are you will be destroyed by Insecurity when you start accusing or make unnecessary remarks.

DON'T let things around you affect how you feel or think towards your man or woman. Especially if being insecure and having NO FAITH towards your love is due to your family background or the way you are being brought up.

Agree this with me that he/she make a choice to be with you is because of Love or Like. This does not come easily. For a couple to be together its a fate. Treasure it. If your family has a complicated background, don't drag or think that in your r/s it will also be complicated especially when it comes to being secure and trust. That poor person who started dating you would suffer tremendously when you accuse him/her that he/she likes someone else when the fact he/she is still being with you.

No one likes to be accuse. No one would ever stay on in a relationship if there isn't love.

It is LOVE that keeps the relationship going.

Treasure the one you love and don't let insecurity destroy you. Don't regret later for what you have done because once a glass is broken thousand times, it can never be fixed back again. Time heal the pain but time will never allow you to make the same mistake again.

Section 1: The Sun

2011-12-28T00:27:00.001+08:00

Credits to the Astrology.com for providing these information. Honestly it reflect on myself and perhaps what I have been behaving and reaction to certain things in life. Lack of strong sense of self is very true.

Section 1: The Sun

Sun in Pisces:

The flowering of compassion, through your ability to merge on a feeling level and to empathize with all, is a key theme for you in this lifetime. This propensity to share others' emotional experience has both its blessings and its deficits. At your finest, Lim Patricia, you have a deeply-felt understanding of human nature which goes beyond words or intellect, and which enables you to forgive others' misdeeds and make allowances for their weaknesses. You are acutely aware of others' pain, including the emotional wounds and brokenness they carry within, and your ability to listen with an understanding heart and to unconditionally accept people as they are can be a healing influence in their lives. You are inclined to exclude nobody. At a deep level you feel and know your oneness with all creatures, and thus every snail in the garden or stray cat is part of your "heart's family".

However, this same all-embracing emotional/psychic openness and receptivity can be the source of some of your greatest challenges in life. It is easy for you to become overwhelmed by the world and its sorrows, and to seek some form of escape from it and from your own extreme sensitivity; for instance, over using drugs or alcohol or even food to alter your mood, or retreating from life into the unreal world of television or other diversions. You may simply withdrawing into your own private fantasies to avoid confronting the challenges in the physical world. At its worst this tendency can devolve into evasiveness and playing ostrich "about important issues in your life". While your imagination and your sensitivity are the well spring of some of your richest experiences and gifts, if over indulged you may become passive, ineffectual, lost or confused. Especially when young, Lim Patricia, you may lack a strong sense of self, of definition and identity, because on a feeling level you identify with others so easily. It can be difficult for you to separate yourself, to know what your boundaries are, when to say no or how to stand up for your own personal interests. Since you are not narrowly focused on self, others may take advantage of your natural generosity and sympathy. Learning and incorporating the concepts of discrimination and clear judgment will enable you to give of yourself in ways that are healthy for you and the ones you are giving to.

Numerology

2011-12-25T11:49:00.005+08:00

Had an interesting night spent. My friend was sharing this numerology theory. She said it tells us our path in life and our personality relates to the time and day we are born in. I did some research and calculation to my own birth date. These are the two result which I have obtained.I would say quite true to what I feel inside or who I am.

The Meaning of Basic Numbers in Numerology:

Number Two(My birth path number and personality type)

This is the mediator and peace-lover. The number two indicates the desire for harmony. It is a gentle, considerate, and sensitive vibration. Ruled by the Moon.Keywords: diplomatic, warm, peaceful, sensitive.

If expressed negatively: too dependent, manipulative, passive-aggressive.

As lovers: Number Twos will bend over backwards to keep a relationship running smoothly. They offer emotional security to their lovers. The number two is associated with the Moon and, since the Moon rules Cancer in astrology, is similar to the Cancer vibration.

Number Eleven (birth path number)

This is the giver. Number Eleven is an innovator with an unmistakable streak of humanitarianism.Keywords: idealistic, intuitive, considerate, tolerant, accepting, steadfast.

If expressed negatively: too dependent, over-sensitive, manipulative.

As lovers: These lovers are romantic in the idealistic sense of the word. They want to see good in people, and they find it. Elevens are the least selfish lovers, and they are extremely considerate. They won't push you to do anything. They hold onto their partners (and their friends) and they are the masters of compromise. Elevens are tolerant and accepting.

Maintaining a Relationship

2011-12-10T17:41:00.001+08:00

Saw this post on Dewi's blog. Credits to her! Someone asked her this question and advice was given by her. And I thought it was good and so I have decided to share with you, readers.

Personally base on this post, I wonder why we girls should always compromise or trying to make things work? Shouldn't guys do the same? Probably one party have to make a little effort as much as they can.

Some people's relationship actually have both making little effort for each of them. It really depends on what kind of perception you are looking at.
--------------------------------------------

Question: " Need help. Have been with my boyfriend for a while and feel that he doesn't care for me as much anymore. I know its inevitable for guys to get a little sian after a while, girls too. But it just hurt me whenever I think back to our happy past. Are all guys like this? I mean,, i know he love him and care the most. But he just slowly doesn't show it anymore.... And sometimes i have the worst temper and i am unreasonable and all. I'm scared he'll get tired of trying. I know its my fault...but sometimes i get upset cos i get insecure easily. and when im insecure, i get angry with him for not assuring me and then i throw my temper. then i ruin things between us. what do you think i can do? "

This reminds me of the relationship I let go of lately lol. Hello darling, you're not alone in this. Believe me I know exactly how you feel. But let me tackle your problem from the back: I don't think you should be getting insecure so much unless your boyfriend has given you a reason to. Has he? If so, talk it out with him. Do NOT lose your temper unnecessarily. Guys will immediately jump to the conclusion that you are out to kill him if your tone is accusatory. Sit him down, make sure you guys are both calm and cool-headed, and handle things step by step. Guys can find it hard to express themselves through words (texting, instant messaging, etc.) so don't think that he doesn't love you simply because he doesn't write you those sweet-nothings. It's just not in their genes! Not all guys find it easy! xD

If you know you are being unreasonable, why are you still scared that he will give up trying? Believe me hun, I've been there, and I had to learn the hard way that being in a foul mood doesn't work all the time. Try cutting down on your hurtful words and mean gestures and slowly, little by little, your boyfriend will see that you are indeed making the effort to make things between you both work and on his part he will do the same for you, too.

Now on to the next part: Guys don't exactly get bored in long-term relationships. Once the first flush of romance has passed, all relationships lose their sparkle and passion. And, if you don't do something about it, you can easily become strangers and problems can surface.

So what you have to do is simple: Bring love back into your relationship. Nancy Hurst, a psychologist and marriage counselor in Edmonton, says romance is about connecting. "When you feel connected, when you feel close to the other person, when you feel the other person is listening to you, that is where romance begins." Here're a few things you can do ...

1) Ask them how their day was – and sincerely be interested.

2) Leave little 'love notes' on post-its in places for them to find.

3) Ask them about something that interests them.

4) Give them a massage.

5) Plan a well thought-out surprise.

6) Say "Thank you."

7) Send a text or e-mail during day with a loving message.

8) Sincerely apologize when it's needed.

9) Maintain physical contact: Be it kissing, hugging or holding hands, it's a simple way to show the other person how you feel, even when those tender moments may be fleeting.

10) Go out on a date. A night out is a great way to reconnect with your partner, and if you can ritualize date night, you'll always have something to look forward to and get excited about.

11) Do something together. Even simple moments together, like reading the paper and talking about it, throwing a dinner party or exercising, can encourage passion.

12) Do something apart. Everyone needs some time to him or herself, as much as you may love being with your partner. Allowing your partner time away from you is important to the health of your relationship. The time apart, properly spent, revitalizes your partner and your relationship. And because it relies on trust to work, it strengthens your relationship, too.

13) Do it every day. There is no set schedule to being romantic or being romanced. Making the effort every day is what will keep your relationship strong. "I don't mean to downplay grand gestures, but if the other stuff isn't there, the grand gestures won't make it," says Hurst. "Ask your partner what they need, what they want. Then include those little things every day to keep the romance going."

14) Remind your boyfriend that you love him.

15) Bring him little gifts. It does not have to be expensive. If he has been talking about a new CD he has been meaning to buy, buy it for him. This will let them know that you are listening or that you are still aware they exist.

16) Bring laughter back into the relationship as well. What brings a lot of couples together in the first place is laughter. You know the, I-can't-breath-anymore-because-you-made-me-laugh-so-hard feeling. Make sure that you don't always take everything so seriously. Bring out the child in you from time to time. Just enjoy each other's company.

17) Compromise. While you might want to get on the computer and play a game and he might want to watch his favorite TV show, you need to compromise. Even if you hate the show he is watching, sit next to him on the couch. Hold each other just to be close. And on the guy's part, if she likes to play games, get out a deck of cards and play together. This does not mean that you have to sit down and watch 3 hours worth of TV that you hate, or play cards for 3 hours. But just doing a bit of what the other person likes will give you a chance to spend some time together and bond. Let them know that what is important to them is important to you.

18) Become best friends again. Remember while you were dating and something happened to you? Or when you had a great idea or plan about something you really wanted or that you wanted to achieve? What was the first thing you did? You told the other person. You could not wait to share the news with them or tell them how upset you were about what had just happened to you. You were best friends. Start doing this again. Really listen to each other. It is important that you keep each other in the loop. By letting them know that their opinion is still important, and making them aware that you still need their support will only bring you closer together.

----

These are just some simple ideas to get that "honeymoon" stage back into your life. There will still be arguments, stressful days and days when you just do not want to be bothered. That is just a part of life. But we seem to think that once we have the other person, all the work is done. On the contrary, this is when the work really begins.

We start to feel we no longer need to show this person how we feel because they already know. True they might know that you love them. But think of it like this. When you were a child you had a favorite toy. You took that toy everywhere you went. You felt lost without it and even kept it in your bed at night. It was your comforter. It made you feel secure. You really loved it. As you got older, this toy started meaning less to you so you threw it in a bag filled with other toys. You had new interests, other things going on that just seemed more important. While this toy brings back great memories when you think about it you no longer have any use for it. Do not let your partner become the toy you threw into that bag. Do not let other things in your life become more important than the person you're involved with. While you might have new interests and other responsibilities, it is your responsibility to not let your relationship become of a memory of the good old days. Do your part in doing what needs to be done in order to bring those memories back to reality. The change might not be drastic over night. But if you make it part of your routine to do these things, they will then become a normal part of your life. You will come to a point where you will no longer need to "work" on these issues, because it will no longer be an issue.

Start putting that warm and loving feeling back into your relationship. It will be well worth it! I wish you all the best and I hope things go smoothly for you and your boyfriend from now on! ♥ xx Dewi
----------------------------------------

Gender

2011-11-30T00:14:00.002+08:00

There are a few reason why I have been saying "I don't want to be a woman".

Please list me the positive things being a woman has?

All I could say now is being a woman is never easy.

First you suffered hell during your period.

Secondly, as a woman you had to go through all the pain during giving birth.

Thirdly, woman are always at the DISADVANTAGE in terms of relationship.

Forthly(which I want to emphasis a little more on this), you as a woman or rather a girl, you have to do housework. Let's be fair in saying this. There isn't really a big deal in doing housework seriously. But when your parents associate you having no time to do housework because you have been going out almost everyday, it's simply totally RIDICULOUS. (AS IF. Should I just prove to them the meaning of going out everyday AND PLAY?)

I have been coming back home early because I had work to do. I only go out on the weekend. DOES that give you a reason to talk to me in a HARSH way?

I would really love if things could be fair to me. Since young I think life hasn't been fair to me. Just because I am a GIRL. (STEROTYPING? whatever. IT's the BLOODY FACT!!)

2011-11-23T17:32:00.001+08:00

Can anyone understand me?

Can anyone know how painful I am right now?

Who know what had happen before?

Who could actually have the tolerance for me?

Who have seen me go mad before?

No one.
Because you are never in my shoe before.

Lost the direction in life

2011-11-22T20:42:00.001+08:00

Do you know how frustrating it is when you want to achieve something but you are stopped because you don't feel like doing?

I really hate to have this 'dont feel like going' feeling in me whenever people ask me to go out.

I realise i have lose many interest in life. I just feel like sleeping all day long. Could someone tell me, how am I suppose to kick away all these in me?

Mentally tired of everything at the moment. Just feel like closing my eyes and sleep forever.

It's mind sucking when I have to be afraid of the choice I am going to made. Not looking forward to any choice. Just simply tired....

I am tired of my life. Tired of everything. I just want to be happy everyday and most importantly carefree!

I want to go back to those days that I used to be.
A confident, self-motivated, determined, courageable girl. Everything I see in my life is a challenge, believing nothing is impossible to be solve. Believing that I can do the best out of any task given. Believe in myself, not bothered about how others see me and always smiling and have friends around me who see me as a role model.

Now, all I feel is just being a little mice who is afraid of everything. Afraid of venturing and to take up challenge.

Who could actually can constantly remind me that life is wonderful? I tried really hard in telling myself but I still failed.

Whenever I see someone who is so confident of themselves, able to take up challenge with a snap confidently, always smiling and having good social network with many people.

I just dont feel good and often wonder why am I being downgraded so badly? Where exactly had gone wrong?

Frankly speaking I don't feel like going K-box on Monday. I don't know if it's the project that is holding me back or what.

I lose focus easily in whatever things I'm doing. So I should just go and sleep. Because no one could ever help me if I don't help myself!

The thing is that I am tired and I would love to give up helping myself. Its just seems not working at all!

In a state of dilemma not sure which diploma should I choose?
Business? Marketing? Or LOM?

Feeling very very worthless, useless, hopeless, as if I have lose the direction of light in life.

I wish I had never gone into a relationship when I was 15. Seriously it's a painful experience and unbearable. The impact he had caused me to suffer and most importantly, mentally affected way beyond what I could handle.

Honestly I am not disturbed by my past anymore, however within me, I am feeling moody most of the time. Losing interest in many event. Always trying to force myself that's all. All I know is PAIN.

I am just a damaged good. Waiting for the day to come and bid goodbye and hi to another world. Seems so long.

Depression is killing us

2011-11-16T21:16:00.005+08:00

How many of us actually understand the term depression? Depression can happen to any one of us, anytime, anywhere. The question is how severe the level of your depression is? When we are disappointed or feeling upset in life, we are consider as depressed. However, the following articles which I have read would give you a clearer understanding of what a true depression is.

I myself having most of the symptom mention below. Makes me wonder a lot.
There are always exception due to strong will.

Time management, how hard can it be for me to manage?
Why do I lose my focus most of the time? Why do I always take more time than others in completing a given task?
etc.

Sources credit to: Daphne-Rae Lee

One of the mental disorders that is increasing at an astonishing rapid rate, depression is inevitable for the people of this day and age. It can last for a couple of days, a few weeks, months, and even years. From a loss of someone dear and near, to the failing of an examination, all this occurrences that happen in life may cause depression.

There are two main kinds of depression, unipolar and bipolar.

Unipolar depression consists of clinical depression that can be so serious that one hallucinates terrible things, dysthymia which can last longer than clinical depression, and seasonal affective disorder by which the name suggests itself, when the person's mood is affected by the season changes.

Bipolar depression includes Bipolar I Disorder, Bipolar II Disorder and Cyclothymia, by which all can be grouped under manic depression. Bipolar depression, just like major/clinical depression, can cause delusions and unpleasant hallucinations.

People who suffers from such disorders as mentioned above, tend to have a low mood for most of the day. Feelings of guilt and worthlessness, anxiety and anger often occur for no reason at all. They may experience a loss of enthusiasm for anything, including studying, working, going out, partying or even sex.

Sleeping disorders usually come together with depression, be it insomnia or hypersomnia, depression usually has an effect on a person's sleeping habits. This is the main reason why depressed people usually have a lack of energy and troubles concentrating.

Fatigue, the general mood for people who are suffering from depression, is inevitable. In between the moments of tiredness, one will have unexplained and abrupt breakdowns and cry frequently.

These symptoms are common, and once a depressed person starts to have thoughts of suicide or death, that is the last cue for him or her to seek help before it's too late.

Depression occurs from a combination of things, and it is not unusual for some to have absolutely no idea why they are depressed. They can be from a wealthy family, those happy families you see on television where everyone sits down together and bond over dinner. Yet, one of those family members might just be suffering silently from depression, without knowing why.

Genetics play a role in depression, meaning that this mental disorder can run in families for many generations. Trauma and stress, also has a major part to play in this illness. Financial, family and relationship problems can all result in depression. Even starting a new career, graduating from school, getting married, moving out, having children, these changes and steps we take in life can cause depression too. Some of us, as humans, are just so terrified to leave our comfort zone that little things scare us to our bones.

Other psychological disorders can cause depression too. They include anxiety and panic disorders, eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia), schizophrenia and especially substance abuse. These factors usually appear alongside with depression and it can be hard to tell which disorder one had first that caused the other.

If you suspect that you are depressed, or if anybody you know who might be suffering from depression, do seek help by calling 6389 2000 or emailing enquiry@imh.com.sg. Unable to talk to a stranger regarding your problems? Talk and open up to your friends and family, talk to your pet, write in your diary, anything. Just don't bottle everything up inside you because someday, you just might blow up

11/11/11 wish, reflection and Quotation

2011-11-11T11:11:00.000+08:00

I have decided to share all these quote I have been saving.

The fact that today is 11/11/11, we should remind ourselves with some good quotes.

I wish is to stay as positive as I can. Stop being pessismistic over issues. No problems cannot be solve. Loser escape from reality. Face the reality with confident and believe nothing is impossible to be faced. Communication is very important.

Life is all about facing different challenges daily. It can be an easy or a difficult challenge. Find a way to deal with it.

I want to be with someone who understand me, who can deal with my meltdown, forgive me for who I am and my past that changes me today.

I may seems to be a complicated woman, however deep down I don't ask much. I am an easy satisfied woman. All I ask for is to stay happy every single day.

I would never want to blame the people around me who changes me. I would blame the environment I am living in. More to the extend I should blame myself because indirectly I made a choice on how I should think and behave.

Yes, I made a wrong choice. I failed to stay positive and preservere. Don't be surprise that the power of our mind is stronger than what we think.

Eg. Before I went into secondary school, I had been telling myself to work hard, be confident in everything I do and never give up because I believe one day my hardwork will be paid off. True enough, my result at the end of secondary 2 was over 77% - eligible to be promote to the express stream. I was delighted very much, however the criticism, sarcastism I had received was tremendously unbearable. I felt as if i was being slashed. Those remarks were so bad that I failed to handle. I kept telling myself not to work so hard to be TOP, achieving good result don't mean anything. No rewards but consistantly accusation.

I became very depressed over it. It became worse after having a boyfriend at tha age of 15. My life was turned 360degree. The trauma and phobia which had force me to be pessismistic over many problems that I faced in my life. There is no family nor friends support. I am all alone.
(at the end of the day, it is still my choice)

I am glad that I have chosen the right school and right course. Deeply appreciate the fact that I have an awesome class, awesome friends. and found someone who is a big influence in my life.
The time spent with my friends changes my mind. I want to have the attention of people which I have lost in year 2008 onwards. I want the look
Upon people has towards me.

*Did I mention that I used to had friends around me who see me as a elder sister, a leader and a role model? life changes since the year 2008, when i was 15.

I am taught that people mix with people who are confident about themselves. Being positive and confident is really important. People have to feel comfortable and enjoy your company. The choice is mine and I got to change my way of thinking.

It's would not be easy but I am going to give it a try. I promise. I know the power of our mind will give me a better future if I think right.

I am still young and emotionally unstable. Nonetheless I am still constantly exploring and experience what's the life out there in the real world. Harsh reality can be cruel and difficult to handle, however I am persistent and determine to change myself and to be a "World Ready Youth" and to "Realize the Star Within" me.

I will try to smile every single day.
Many many more...

"--------------

Surround yourself w/ people who know your worth. You don’t need people to be happy, just a FEW REAL ones who appreciate you for who you are.

Never expect someone to live up to your expectation because expectation leads to disappointment. Live up to your own expectation instead.

It happens so often that we live our life in chains, and not even knowing that we have the key

Perfection in nature, nothing is perfect&yet everything is perfect.

Do not ctrl c, be creative ctrl n

Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions be louder than your words

Expect the best, prepare for the worst, don't give a damn about what others might think about you, and do your own thing.

Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laughs, Im falling apart. Look at me closely and you will see the girl I am just isn’t me.

Nobody gets to live life backward. Just look ahead! that is where our future lies.

I promised myself I wouldn't lower my standards for anyone. So why did I make an exception for him?

Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.

Songs are our emotions, expressed in such a way that only the soul can understand.

Stopping habits is a hard thing to do and to see people actually doing that for someone's love is really attractive to me.

Love is the most expensive gift. Make sure you don't give it to someone that's cheap.

Never underestimate the power of a woman's intuition. Some women can recognize game before you even play it.

Trust is like a paper, once it's crumpled it can't be perfect again.

You've gotta deal with the shit people do. Not everyone in life is gonna stay true.

Respect is earned, honesty is appreciated, trust is gained, and loyalty is returned.

when someone says "expect the unexpected" slap them in the face and say "you didn't expect that, did you?"

When someone special walks into our lives & they can change things for the better, don't ever let them walk away.

Be with someone who knows exactly what they have when they have you. Not someone who will realize it when they've lost you.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. - Steve Jobs

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.

Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, undone, or forgotten so take it as a lesson learned and move on.

Today the 2011/11/11

2011-11-11T08:58:00.004+08:00

Today is the 11/11/11, many of us believe that if we make a wish on this special day at 11.11am will come true. Now the question is, do you actually believe in such a saying? Honestly, I think it is just a psychological way we think it might come true.

Nonetheless, there are people who have had already plan ahead on what to do on this special day. For example, getting married and go into a relationship. Before this very day, people had already made tons of wishes via their social media tools like twitter or facebook when the clock hits 11.11am/pm.

For the sake of having fun, like everyone, I think I should make a wish.
Who knows there might be a miracle?

Planet star unexpectedly
Its time for me to have a serious thought on what I want to wish.

Lights Up!

2011-10-17T22:02:00.009+08:00

Deepavali is around the corner. I feel extremely excited to be able to read up on this particular article in SPRING. It is very interesting. The word sanskrit is similar to what buddism prayer uses too. here it's what they explain the meaning of 'Deepavali'. - Festival of Lights

"------

Deepavali" literally means a row of lights (deepa) in the Sanskrit language.

Light is the most important of the Deepavali (or Diwali) symbols because light brings warmth and illumination. One of the most enduring images of the festival is the lighting up of small clay lamps filled with oil to signify the triumph of good over evil. "it's also a spiritual reminder to wake up from the slumber of ignorance and to pursue knowledge, whether secular or spiritual, although the latter should, to the devout Hindu, be the ultimate goal.

"As light dispels darkness, so should knowledge dispel ignorance,".

Pick up any Deepavali greeting card, and besides the oil lamp, there would probably be Kherson symbols such as candles and the colorful rangoli and kolam ( as these floor paintings are known in North and South India, respectively).

What's a "Rangoli" or "kolam"? It's meant to welcome the goddess Lakshmi. --- SPRING

A Pretty Interesting article on Culture shock! Now I have a better understanding on why Indians place lovely designed art patterns with flowers outside their doorstep. It's to welcome the goddess Lakshmi. Common designs are either flowers, birds or snakes.

If you do notice any of your Indian Hindu neighbours who might hang mango leaves above their door, it is to signify auspiciousness.

If you are a sweet lover, do visit their home during Deepavali and be sure to be served a tempting spread of sweets to symbolize the joyous festive mood!! That could satisfy your cravings of sweets! :p (haha!! Just kidding)

The traditional oil bath---
This sound pretty yulky to me. But it is good to know that it symbolizes the cleansing of the soul; this sound like cleaning the sins we did in our life to me. And this bath is believed to be benefical to health! Wow!

Hindus culture in this category is pretty much similar to Christian. The traditional oil bath also known as bathing in the holy water, specifically in the holy Ganges River in India. Devout Hindus actually get up before 5am on Deepavali for an oil bath. This sound really interesting. We Chinese never had all these at all.

Well, I must say Hindu woman are very much emphasized on Deepavali as they are considered goddesses from Hindu point of view. They get this singular honor during this very special occasion. - very much envy from a Chinese woman's view. In the olden days, chinese woman are like a 'slaves' in the family. They are suppose to take care every single things at home, while the man would go out to earn for a living. In short, there isn't any respect for a woman in the past as they have no say in many things.

Back to topic, As for Hindus, they still maintain their culture, their sense of belonging and the woman are very much treated with respect. It reminds the men in the family to treat their mother, wife, sisters and women on general with respect.

-- In response to these read up, it's pretty obvious from my personal own encounter that I do agree Indians culture has given them a good knowledge of what it takes to be a good person. A loving, warm hearted person. Recently I was invited to an Indian family birthday BBQ, a friend of mine. I was totally shock by the way they greet each other, respect one another and more importantly they treat their maid as a family. I think that is really important because if a family could treat an outsider as close as a family, make a guess how would they treat their guest?
The answer is pretty much obvious. They treated me like an angel. I was filled with their warm-hearted hospitality and they made me feel so comfortable being there. Consistently, they never fail to ask me to help myself with the food and drinks, and if I need anything or drinks. Very much lost of words. All I have to say is I am very much #thankful to have this great opportunity.

Personally I haven had a chance to read up on my own culture. Nowadays, we Chinese are changing at a rapid pace from traditional new year to a modern ones. So much so, we have or have no idea what's the meaning and significant during our festival.

On a side note, I am a half Chinese; a Peranakan.

P/s: Oh and did I mention this? I would love to try Sari someday. ^^

The silver fox

2011-09-26T23:56:00.001+08:00

Some interesting article I read somewhere.

"Older guy have a wealth of experiences to draw from and they can leave you with good memories and a new understanding of life," says McMillan

Felicia,23 agrees. " I was attracted to his maturity unlike younger men who didn't know how to take care of themselves. I learnt lessons he'd picked up from before. There's a feeling of security when you're going out with someone older, and on a superficial level, you will feel more sophisticated, especially when you hang out with his friends who're his age.

Just make sure your older man isn't looking for someone to control."

A guy with genuine intentions will ask for and listen to your views, respect your differences, and won't demand to call the shots all the time", says McMilan

The end-------
It's really an interesting article since nowadays it's really common when you see such people on the streets.

Decision making

2011-09-15T16:12:00.003+08:00

I do not wish to make any decision. Why am I being put into this hard spot once again? Why are men all the same? Can I just die?

I could not understand why does it matter so much when the fact for things to happen, it takes two parties action and not just one.

Afterall there isn't any trust for me.

One thing I know for sure is all I want is you. To be frank, I don't give a shit about his feelings at all. I give more attention to you than anyone else.

The last thing I don't want is for you to walk away and back off.

If I meant a world to you, grab hold of me as tight as you can and never let me go. Fight for me, snatch me away from others. Do whatever you can to have me. Because if you were to, I would be so grateful, delighted and assured that, yes you are the one who truly love me. I would definitely be the happiest woman ever on earth. But if you don't, then I would say you don't love me as much and you don't care.

I know whatever you have told me is a warning. You fear of getting hurt and would rather back off first before anything happen. I truly understand that. I am different. I am an exception. My gut feelings has always been 90% right. Trust me that I will never let such thing happen and I would never want to hurt you nor would I walk away one day.

All it takes is a word trust.

Overtime if a guy continue to woo a girl, it doesn't always have to for her to feel something and to accept him.(Bitches and slut does that. If other guy are able to change her feelings so easily, she don't love you at all.)

For once treat me like a woman and not a toy. Treat me as the most amazing, wonderful and special woman you have ever met. Like you mention since you have never met anyone like me, why not think positively? Don't be pessismistic over your life. Because I believe I too make an exception to most of this problem.

To end off, I just hope things would remain as good as it is and never let anything to affect this beauty of life. I don't want to have another swollen day again. I hope to end all these problematic which I have unintentionally created immediately. I don't wish this to hurt the both of us any further.

And, please don't give me up easily. Don't assume what is better for me or what is good for me. Don't ever think your decision of backing up will actually made me happier.

P/s: I would and I will ruin my life with anything for it takes for me to be. You have given me much hope in life. You took the initiative to hold my hands and want to walk me out of the darkness. Please don't walk away leaving me behind in the darkness. Because if you do, I will lost my way in the darkness and walk to the path of hell.

I don't treasure myself anymore because of the past. Please don't do this to me again.
I am willing not to give a piece of shit about him anymore just for you. For all I know for now, I want you, need you and I love you.

Te amo tanto mi amor!

The Possessive Man & The Abusive Guy

2011-08-23T08:26:00.000+08:00

This article was taken from CLEO. I don't own any of the content, however it was what I had been going through. Probably 80% of them

The Possessive Man

How possessive was your EX?
He stopped me from speaking to my guy friends. I couldn't even mention my best guy pal in conversations in front of my ex because he'd get upset and we would end up quarreling about it. Even when I went out with my girlfriends, he'd insist on tagging along. After the first meeting with my close friends, he went home to add them as friends on Facebook and Twitter, and even asked for their contact numbers so that he would be able to find out where I was at any moment! He would also turn up at my doorstep uninvited as late as 3am, and even if I were sleeping, I'd have to wake up and let him in.

How did you feel in the relationship?
I was frustrated and it was stifling. I also felt like I couldn't live my life freely.

What was the breaking point?
I told him I needed a break because he was getting too close for comfort. Instead of using this time to reflect on his behaviour, he continued to pester me. He'd text and call me incessantly. One night he found out that I was out clubbing with my friends and he came down to the club specially to look for me! My friend could tell that I was miserable and when he told me that a relationship that doesn't make me happy isn't worth it, it was a wakeup call. I realised that there's no point in deluding myself that things will get better.

Do you regret your decision?
Not at all! The first thing I felt after I broke up with him was relief to have my life back. I've also learnt an important lesson. I never stood up for myself when I was with my ex and that's why he managed to control me to that exrent. Now I'm clear what my boundaries are and if I'm uncomfortable with any situation, I'm going to speak up.

The Abusive Guy

What was your ex like when you first knew him?
He was perfect. We had great chemistry and he was my best friend. I could talk to him about anything and he was always sensitive to my feelings. I was so in love with him.

When did things change?
Four to five months into the relationship, he started becoming very irritable and impatient. Once I gave him the wrong directions when he was driving and he completely lost his temper and started screaming at me. That was the first time I saw his tempermental side. Another time, he got so angry with me over something trival and he called me a slut.

Tell us about the first time he hit you.
We had gotten into a fight and I was lying in bed with my back facing him crying silently. He got frustrated and he suddenly turned me around and started punching my chest repeatedly while telling me to shut up. It happened so fast that I was in shock and couldn't stop him. That was the first time I felt unsafe with him. After that he apologised but he said that he wouldn't have hit me if I had stopped crying. Stupidly, I managed to convince myself that this had indeed been my fault.

Was that a one-off incident?
No. Things got worse. He started getting violent everytime I didn't want to have sex with him and he would force himself onto me. I felt like nothing more than his sex toy.

Why did you not walk out of relationship?
I was so in love with him that I couldn't see that I was stuck in a vicious cycle. We would fight, he would shove me around and shout at me but after he'd cooled down, he'd always apologise and promise me it'd never happen again. He would then treat me really nicely and I'd forgive him, thinking that his time he'd keep to his word. But it always happened again and by then, whenever he hit me, I'd immediately blame myself for making him angry. I thought I was unhappy in the relationship because I wasn't trying hard enough to make him happy.

What made you ultimately realise that he was at fault?
A year and a half into the relationship, he initiated a breakup but we still behaved like a couple. We decided to go overseas and he even explicitly told me that we were going as friends and that I shouldn't expect anything. But on the holiday, he tried to force me to have sex with him. When I refused, he began to punch and strangle me. When I tired to run away, he pushed me off the bed and my legs hit the bed frame hard. I was scared for my life. It was then that I knew I had to get as far away from him as possible. I cut off all contact with him and decided to start my life over.

How has this relationship affect you?
I used to think that love was enough to sustain a relationship but now I know there's one thing that's more important - respect. There's no excuse for a man to ever verbally or physically abuse anyone. I'm a lot more guarded now and I don't trust people easily but I'm a happier and stronger person now.

I'm a Belieber - NEWS PRESS

2011-04-24T23:54:00.001+08:00

I'm a Belieber
By Christopher Toh
Today
April 21, 2011

Okay, not really, but Justin Bieber did put on an impressive show

YOU can say what you want about Justin Bieber - that his voice is as flat and tinny as a Disney character's, that he's not as good-looking as what some make him out to be and, oh, that hair! - but you know, the kid's 17 years old. And he's one hell of a performer.

If there's one thing that impressed this reviewer at his concert at the Singapore Indoor Stadium on Tuesday night, it was his wholehearted commitment to the show. And what a show it was.

In front of 10,000 screaming fans - okay, 9,999 screaming fans and me - Bieber showed why he's the pop phenomenon that he is. His stage banter was perfected to a T, even if it did seem a little tacky when he uttered: "I want you to close your eyes and pray", before launching into his song called - you guessed it - Pray. He also got hormones racing when he said how pleased he was that Singapore had so many good-looking girls.

"Are there any single girls out there?" he asked to more screams, before picking one lass out from the audience to join him on stage as he seranaded her with One Less Lonely Girl. She, obviously, was over the moon, but we suspect there were more than 9,000 green-eyed monsters plotting her demise.

Bieber was a great showman/boy, showing off his musical abilities on the guitar (performing an acoustic version of Runaway Love), as well as the drums - whacking out an impressive solo as the band performed an instrumental version of the Run DMC/Aerosmith collaboration Walk This Way.

Video snippets peppered the show, which helped stretch out what would otherwise have been a rather short show. (He's got, like, one album - repackaged over and over again.)

Of course, the show was so rehearsed it almost seemed mechanical at times. And, yes, even though he's older and it sounds like his voice is about to break, he can still come across as squeaky. But, hey, he put a smile of joy on almost every face I saw that night.

Fans were happy, parents were happy that their children were happy, and I was happy that I was standing near the exit so as to not get crushed by the stampeding crowd as they rushed to the loading bay after the concert to catch a glimpse of him.

Bottom line: I probably would check out another of his shows - but I don't know about buying his music. Then again, Never Say Never, right?

Bieber fever hits town - NEWS PRESS

2011-04-24T22:03:00.001+08:00

Bieber fever hits town
By Joyce J. Chansingh
Xinmsn.com
April 20, 2011

Words cannot describe enough what a full house of young screaming fans sounded like last night at the Singapore Indoor Stadium – Justin Bieber had them at hello

National Bieber Day, it was.

It felt like his bajillion fans would seriously drop their clothes for him right that moment.

Hormones ran high and ear-piercing screams from his die-hard fans, or Beliebers, as they call themselves, permeated the air.

The crowd comprised mostly of teenage girls with "JB" face paint, along with several adults who had accompanied their pre-teen children and even kids as young as seven.

Justin Bieber may have missed out on the Grammy for Best New Artist, but packs of screeching girls didn't care one bit.

"What's up Singapore? Welcome to my world!" The Canadian teen pop sensation gave his first of many shout-outs to deafening cheers from the audience, "Is everybody ready to have some fun tonight?"

Decked out in an ensemble of white, silver, black and red apparel, Bieber opened with "Love Me" around 20 minutes into his scheduled 8pm performance, and doled out hits after hits - "Never Say Never", "Somebody to Love" and "Eeenie Meenie".

A born charmer, he smartly navigated both ends of the stage to keep his fans enthralled, occasionally grooving alongside his backup dancers and gave delightful shout-outs like, "I see a lot of pretty girls in the audience!"

"I was wondering how many girls are there in the audience tonight?" The 17-year-old asked, "And how many of you are single?" He reduced the front rows to quivering devotion when he invited a lucky fan girl on stage as he crooned "One Less Lonely Girl" and presented a flower bouquet to the grinning fan.

In Singapore for his first stop on the Asian leg of his "My World" concert tour, the concert, all of 80 minutes, was a well-orchestrated stage show that didn't miss a beat. Despite not having a mammoth list of songs under his belt, the concert duration was cleverly filled up with nuggets of other performances.

From a song medley by his four talented back-up singers and video montage of Justin's early YouTube hits to the singer showing off his drumming skills, Justin even attempted to break-dance a little. However his vocals and music didn't always carry the same credence through the concert.

Nonetheless, the pop and R&B singer delivered exactly what he's known for - Bieber fever. And his new hairstyle, even though it caused a stir among his Twitter followers after he snipped off his trademark locks - was in fine form with shaggy, tousled styling.

Quite frankly, Bieber could probably stand and recite an essay and still keep his teenage fans beguiled for hours.

"It was awesome!" three fan girls squealed with delight, "We want to pass him cards that we made for him," said the 14-year-old girls who each spent $168 to catch their idol.

Keeping his biggest hit "Baby" for encore, Justin uttered enthusiastically, "Who wants to be my 'Baby'?!" Again, the shrill wail of the sirens penetrated the crowd as fans went berserk.

From start to finish, tweenage legions screamed their hearts out. Fanatic fans were seen loitering near the stage, hoping against hope to catch a final glimpse of their idol up close. In the words of one still reeling from Bieber fever: "So awesome! His dancing was so good!"

There was nary a disappointed face seen after the show when packs of tweenagers streamed out of the stadium, some still chanting Bieber's name and several made a beeline for "Bieber Merchandise" corner to satisfy their desire for a piece of Justin Bieber.

Bottom line: This concert is not for the fainted-hearted, only for Beliebers.

Dead Blog

2011-04-20T21:42:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! I am back from my dead blog!

I don't know when will I revive this dead blog. We shall see. ;)

And,
Now I am currently studying in Temasek Polytechnic. Business Studies Grouping.

BUAI!

Justin Bieber - My World Tour Singapore

2011-04-19T23:59:00.001+08:00

I always have this problem. I don't know how to start my blog post.

anyway,
JUSTIN BIEBER - MY WORLD TOUR SINGAPORE 19 April 2011 was AWESOME, INCREDIBLE!!

It was not only just a concert but also healthy CLUBBING! SUPER! I love it!
Yes I am a crazy BIG FAN of JUSTIN BIEBER.

He is my inspiration and whenever I think of him, he makes me even stronger than EVER.
quote like #neversaynever, always be yourself and be CONFIDENT.
Yes and I do consistently remind myself!

Trust me, teachers word of encouragement doesn't really impact much as what your IDOL said. Because there is something for me to FOCUS on.

I enjoyed my time over at SINGAPORE INDOOR STADIUM with my lovely friends also a belieber, Irene Terrence Shafeeq Benjamin Jazz Zarinar! :) YOU PEOPLE WERE AWESOME! really.

I will never forget TODAY!

more photos at my facebook!

Sinus Infection

2011-03-16T15:57:00.002+08:00

I never thought that running nose could cause headache, pain around the eyes, pain around my nose and even my tooth. I seek medical attention from the doctor and confirmed: Sinus Infection.

I look up in the web to find out more about this infection. These is what I found.

Grabbed from link: http://www.emedicinehealth.com/sinus_infection/page3_em.htm#Sinus%20Infection%20Symptoms

Acute sinusitis:

Ethmoid sinusitis (behind the eyes)

Nasal congestion with discharge

Postnasal drip (mucus drips down the throat behind the nose) often accompanied by a sore throat

Pain or pressure around the inner corner of the eye or down one side of the nose

Headache in the temple, or surrounding or behind the eye

Pain or pressure symptoms are worse when coughing, straining, or lying on the back and better when the head is upright

Fever is common [I had fever especially when I had to stay in the air conditional room for LONG. Fever occur when the pain is far too severe for me to bare]

Maxillary sinusitis (behind the cheek bones)

Pain across the cheekbone, under or around the eye, or around the upper teeth

Pain or pressure on one side or both

Tender, red, or swollen cheekbone (maxilla) [I am not sure if I had this swollen or red thingy appearing in my face...]

Pain and pressure symptoms are worse with the head upright and bending forward and better when reclining

Nasal discharge or postnasal drip

Fever is common

Frontal sinusitis (behind forehead, one or both sides)
Severe headaches in the forehead

Fever is common

Pain is worse when reclining and better with the head upright

Nasal discharge or postnasal drip

Sphenoid sinusitis (behind the eyes)

Deep headache with pain behind and on top of the head, across the forehead, and behind the eye

Fever is common

Pain is worse when lying on the back or bending forward

Double vision or vision disturbances if pressure extends into the brain

Nasal discharge or postnasal drip

Chronic sinusitis:

Ethmoid sinusitis

Chronic nasal discharge, obstruction, and low-grade discomfort across the bridge of the nose

Pain is worse in the late morning or when wearing glasses

Chronic sore throat and bad breath

Maxillary sinusitis

Discomfort or pressure below the eye

Chronic toothache or increased tooth sensitivity [toothache is the worst! You couldn't eat well, drink well, or rest well. Super irritating!]

Pain possibly worse with colds, flu, or allergies

Increased discomfort throughout the day with increased cough at night

Frontal sinusitis

Persistent, low-grade headache in the forehead

History of trauma or damage to the sinus area

Chronic postnasal drip

Sphenoid sinusitis

Low-grade general headache is common

Chronic postnasal drip

Most of the synthom written above, I had it almost all.
The pain was so sick that you would never imagine how uncomfortable it could be.
You can't sleep, eat well. Your daily life activities was totally distrupted by this infection.

All I know during the worst stage of sinus infection, the pain I had experienced was FAR too MUCH for me to bare. I couldn't sleep well with the pain going through every part of my face and head.

I just hope I will get well soon!

Greatest irony of love.

2011-02-05T10:11:00.001+08:00

The Greatest Irony of Love :
Loving the right person at the wrong time or having the wrong person when the time is right; finding out you love someone after that person walks out of your life. For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much they love that person. Some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else. Most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love, but because love is always present. It’s just that one was being loved too much, and the other was being loved too little. Most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love, but to only discover that for them we are just for past times. While the one who truly loves us remains either your friend or a stranger.

When you think of your past love; you may view it as a failure; but when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn’t really matter who won or who lost. What’s important is that you know when to hold on and when to let go. You know that you love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you’re not apart of it. Everything happens for a reason and for its best. If the person you love doesn’t love you back, don’t be afraid to love someone else again, for you’ll never know unless you give it a try.

You’ll never truly love a person, unless you risk for their love; love strives in hurting. If you don’t get hurt, then you won’t learn how to love. Love doesn’t hurt all the time; though the hurting is there to test you, to help you grow. Don’t find love, let love find you; that’s why it’s called falling in love, because you don’t need to force yourself to love, you just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing the chapters. If you want to move on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages.

Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. But why is it that the greatest irony of love is letting go when you want to hold on, and holding on when you need to let go? You can never find the right person if you can never let it go of the wrong, but at the same time the moment you feel like letting go, you remember why you held on for so long. Sometimes you have to forget what you want and remember what you deserve.
To love is to risk rejection, to live is to risk dying and to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing at all. To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose your true self. To love is to risk not being loved in return.

How to define love: Fall but do not stumble. Be constant but not too persistent. Share and never be unfair. Understand and try not to demand. Hurt but never keep the pain.
Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people means giving them the freedom; whom they choose to be and where they choose to go. Loving someone means giving them the freedom to find their way, whether it leads towards you or away from you.

Love can be a painful risk. To love means that risk must be taken, no matter how scary or painful, for only then will you experience the fullness of humanity of what we call love. If you’re not ready to cry, if you’re not ready to take the risk and if you’re not ready to feel the pain, then you’re not ready to fall in love.

O'level release

2011-01-11T01:04:00.002+08:00

Today was a day filled with joy and saddness.

It is a joy for me as I passed all my subject. I thought I would did badly or something..
For science, the grade I got was shocking! Because I know I screwed the paper for not completing 10marks question for both chem and physic, and physic practical totally screwed!... if I didn't screwed this, I should be able to get an A1 easily.

I passed my A'Math for the FIRST TIME (under the express GCE O'level standard). *happy!*

I wish to share my joy with someone but apparently the whole cohort of sec 5 didn't do very well.. I see my friends crying, disappointed and upset over their grades, I couldn't smile at all. I'm worried for them.
If I were to feel happy, something must be wrong with me.

Anyway I just pray hard that all of them are able to decide something and go to poly or to somewhere they want to be in...

life is just so unpredictable.
I'm lucky, thanks god for your help!...

Fair? Justice? Mercy? Forgiveness.

2010-12-26T01:37:00.002+08:00

She spends $100 on a Christmas gift. You think she is great better than me.

I spend less than $40 on a Christmas gift, what I get is still COMPARE COMPARE.

What give to you the rights to even come compare me and her?
Do you think you're better off?
What did you even do?
What effort did you even put in? NONE.

Any other Pig-Friend-Dog Day will not be a memorable one. Never will it gave a BIG impact on when the thing is RECEIVED.

I tried my best. I live quietly. I tolerate. I don't complain nor compare.
SMALL THINGS YOU WOULD COME COMPLAIN AND COMPARE WITH.
How great!. yeah.

Live everyday with positive mind

2010-12-04T23:31:00.005+08:00

I know that you can never be a good listener.
A good friend on the surface, perhaps?

Yes. In this world, our biggedt enermy is ourselves
However in the working industry, if you are unlucky and met a hypocrite who does evil things to you, then that your fate.

I tried not to think about what had happen earlier on at work.
After today it will be a past tense. I shall look forward to tomorrow and the gathering.
Live everyday with a positive mind in order to be HAPPY.

I try to control my own emotion.

Many many unhappiness in the year of 2010.
I hope it truely end officially on the 31 Dec 2010 before I welcome 2011.

I love the weather this season! COOLING!~

Emma

2010-10-13T16:59:00.004+08:00

"I was seriously torn as to whether to stay in the UK or go to the States as let’s face it the UK has some of the best universities in the world. But, ultimately, I loved the course at Brown and really liked the idea of experiencing a different country and culture – and I must say I’ve never been happier, I absolutely love Brown."

For the moment I’m really enjoying university life and feel that I still have so much to experience and so much to discover. I don’t have any definite plans for the future at the moment and that’s all part of growing up. But, I still love acting and hope to continue whether it be on stage or in film."

Turning back, Looking Ahead

2010-10-08T23:27:00.005+08:00

I do realised that blames were always pushed to me. No one would ever believe what I said. It normal for I don't really bother to talk. Just one word advice to the rumors, believe what you see and hear from that person and not from someone else. Not happy, go confront that person.

No point assume what others said was true and get your NERVES CRACKING and ANGER all over your whole BRAIN. Don't you find it stupid if the TRUTH turns out to be a JOKE? Who would be the one gain from these? The evil devil who said the rumors and twist the word. Don't ever trust those whom you are not close with especially. Foolish.

I'm very sure you wouldn't want land yourself in that state. Go find out the truth instead of ASSUMING & make your own blood boil boil..

Some people in this world, their purpose in this world is to Talk talk talk. Make up stories.
I see some who choose friends. It is quite obvious. I observed this particular person trying to befriend and talk to this particular girl. This girl would simply ignore.
I can simply tell, she only mix with people whom SHE thinks is like her STYLE.
I mean, Ah Lian type.
Whatever it is, these people don't deserve any sympathy. I only can pity them.

I see this person once being very close to this group of girls. Later when she got separated when they went different class, their friendship just VANISH. Now their friendship is back. how pathetic?

I do really feel very upset.
Especially when usually I am not that sort of person who laugh smile to everyone everywhere I go. It is more painful to know that because of that character of two different person, people tend to trust that person more than me.

Ever since I came to this school, I knew the secondary school life wouldn't be that GREAT afterall. After 5 years, my conclusion was right. I recalled myself sitting down in the courtyard looking around. Somehow I wondered to myself, how did I ever landed in this class? Or in this school? Can I find a true bosom friend, groups of friend like what I did in Primary school? Where all of us used to support each other and have NO Motive at all?

Whatever it over, is over. This school indeed gave me many life experiences and opportunity to learn. I really would like to thank Ms Ng giving me the opportunity to go to OBS.
Mr Leong giving me opportunity to go to IFC camp.. I think that year, 2008 was an awesome year! I had no regret! I enjoyed myself alot!

What more can I say? Friends come and go. What I have now, I will definitely treasure them, and forgive for whatever mistake they had made. Everyone deserve an equal chance of changing. I hope life be better after secondary school life. =)
At least in this school, I get to know a very close sister. At least she is not A BITCH. She don't act like one either. Her character I like. Happy go Lucky.

What the future will be like, no one knows.
We can see the road, but we don't know what obstacles we will face.
Let's hope it would be a nice and smooth one.

Anger

2010-09-24T21:18:00.000+08:00

Churning and boiling
heaving, hot - like a cup of tea
on a table in an earthquake.
The steam zigzags up as the
cup clanks and rat-tat-tats
on the saucer
And the dark tea sloshes around
in a whirlpool
over-spilling the sides and
staining the fine lace cloth
Pressure
Stress
Force
Gravity - and then
E X P L O S I O N!
and silence.
Peace.
The deadened silence of a cease- fire...
thick, heavy silence.
It's almost as unbearable as the quake...
more ominous...fearful... unknown ...
Can this uncertain peace
really
be more comfortable
than certain war?

What up with life?

2010-08-04T00:53:00.005+08:00

Live for me lately have been literally up and down. I've so much to blog however, when I turn on the computer and log in into blogger, I was totally blank. I forgot what I want to write and so on.

Something I still remember saying,
I bet people around me are leading their live to their fullest and most importantly being happy. Not much of worries or anything except for O'Level stress.
I personally feel that I've been through lots of pain, emotional challenge that have been with me since last year. I would say, this year is so much better. Perhaps I had already accept the fact and not to think of it anymore. No one would have imagine how much I've been through. I think mentally challenge is my worst enemy. I'm most certain that the experience so far I had gathered in my life, is beyond most of the naive people thinking.

I thought I would have a shoulder for me to lean on, however I was totally wrong. Everything still bounce back to me and worse additional problems. Problems after problem. It would not end. Best part is, this is truly the beginning of LIFE.

This year is a short and exciting year. Many challenges are ahead of me which most of it I have not even curb it. It not easy definitely. I am still trying to learn how to manage my time well. I think it is a bit late. I admit I am a lazy person who need lots of sleep. If I don't sleep well, sleep at the right time and wake up at the right time, that day wouldn't be great for me.

Life in the Design Studio is totally chaotic! 100 over students with only one teacher to help and approximately 30 laptop and desktop in total. Imagine everyone is fighting for a computer to use everyday after 2pm.

Some of the kid would go on to facebook, youtube or photoshop their friend's face onto some disgusting picture(uncensored) using a desktop computer. I find it really insensible, selfish and childish of not knowing what is important and what is not. Many people are waiting for their chance to use the computer and yet, there they are using the computer doing unrelated things. That is really annoying.

I start my coursework early this year as compared to last year. However, looking at the date and the amount of work I had completed, it is far too slow as compared to last year. Reason is very simple. We only get to do our DNT until 5.30pm at most. Last year we got to do our DNT until 8.30pm. That is a lot of different! New principal set the new rule and we got no choice but to try and complete it fast. She has her reason why we are not allowed to stay till so late. Therefore, I should stop complaining and rush my things out real SOON.

Mrs Yong has a nice and sweet voice. Her voice and language have the power of convincing people into the right path. I think she has a great potential in the physcology area. For that I truly admire her a lot! She took my class for a week only and I wish she continue teaching our class. With her around, I would be motivated indirectly by her words. In her lesson, she would use good vocab and also to explain what is the meaning of the vocab without us asking her to explain. She would also spell it out. For the first time I feels that English lesson have benefit me in learning more new words. It is truly satisfising!
All the english teacher in my school are good too.
I'm glad I am in this school to a certain extend. =/

To end off, I think life would be better if one could think positively. I know it is not an easy task. I myself have difficulty coping with what I'm thinking. I'm a very pessimistic person. It hard for me most of the time that I had to act as if nothing has happen and be happy most importantly. Being happy is the greatest thing ever I want in my life!
This little request seem difficult. No one would ever understand and know me truly deep enough what I really want. Therefore, back to square, I am still alone facing it. However, I think it is no longer important to know if anyone would understand me truly. Because I can't be sure if I know myself well.

Somewhere I wish to be there alone. Nature the place for me to pour out my problems.

Prevention of negative

2010-06-28T22:20:00.002+08:00

I am impulsive & irrational.
I almost always act before I think.
I am prone to making mistakes, even when I know they are.
I am just wired wrong, therefore I do stupid things.

This is who I am.
Therefore people, you've to really be patience towards me if I said anything wrong. *hmm*

Sometimes I really don't mean it. But there are prone to people who will just take things hard.

It hard to please everyone.
&
I'm happy to say, I guess I no longer live in the world of being bothered by how do you care. I just want to live happy. I'll just find ways to entertain myself.

Why should I even get myself being tortured when I can choose not to?
Shouldn't I be thinking, "Hey, I would not let you take me easily."
Isn't that better?

School was "great" today. Can't imagine how am I suppose to survive under the hectic 2months from now.. No wait, 7 weeks?

Roller Blade & Universal Studio

2010-06-25T20:57:00.005+08:00

Went roller blading with my bro and his girlfriend last week.
It was really an awesome experience. I wanted to learn blading since sec 1. HAHA!..
When they wanted to go, I immediately asked if I can join too. (:
At least I got a little new skill now. ;)

Ohh and Universal Studio with bff IRENE was an AWESOME and a BLAST!
Our NUMBER 1 ride is the REVENGE OF MUMMMY!! :D
Basically we sit so many times that we tried the feel of every rows.
Awww... The Cylon and Human wasn't open, under some construction. =((
Or else it should be THE BEST RIDE EVER!

Never ending jokes from her. ;)
Best moments there! (:

I love the egypt theme over there! LOVEEE!
Test test with the hollywood hats. :D
Stay over @ HARD ROCK HOTEL! BEST BEST holiday this year!
thanks IRENE! for everything!!! :)
without her and her laughter all this precious happy moment would not be possible~~!!
LOVE HER!

*If someone were to think im a hypocrite trying to act, come on get a life. I forgive people more than u do. Life much better to forgive than to remember and hate. =)

Random thoughts and updates?

2010-06-23T00:34:00.005+08:00

I'm getting lazier!
In the past, I used to login to blogger and blog really often. But now I seldom.

I would login to facebook more often than I do to blogger.
No wait,
Facebook then Twitter or Youtube then blogger?
Yup that right.
Anyway blogger never came to my mind most of the time! hahas!

Anyway, many things happened and changed.
I do hope I'll be able to make it on 2nd July for gathering. It is FRIDAY! Let's see how.

It up to god to choose who to be my side by side friends. If there isn't then, it my fate and their fate. I leave to god.
If I were to dwell over it almost all the time, I guess I can admit myself to the IMH soon!

Neh... I want to lead a better and happier life. SO, I will find myself with better things to do! ;)

Justin Bieber 's song is one of the thing that CHEER ME UP!
Eenie Meenie
Somebody To Love
Never say Never
Baby
One Time
One Less Lonely Girl
Never Let You Go
etc...
The above songs simply one word: AWESOME!
Not arranged in my like list. n
I just think every single song he sang is lovely... Never get sick of it!
(:

Universal Studio

2010-06-03T00:27:00.005+08:00

Unexpected Scenery. Nicely decorated place! Rides is really cool and suits me a lot, exlude Cylon and Human Ride at the moment.

One word for Univeral Studio, AWESOME!!!!!
Going there again soon with IRENE! YAYYYY!

I look damn ugly in the picture. ARGH!!! FAT!

Photo models are: My aunt and cousins. (:

Crazy first week!

2010-06-02T23:46:00.002+08:00

Hello dairy I'm back in ACTION!

Holiday has started, like finally! :)
I love holiday. Especially now. I could actually get more control of the time. I enjoyed going to school more now. It is better to go school for lesson now than to follow the usual stupid hourly lesson time table.

It was really crazy week for me.
Trying to complete homework given and DNT at the same time. Good "news" is, I do sleep rather late just to do homework and wake up early the next day for school. HAHA!

I enjoyed DNT much now. Time fly so fast that I wanted to shout " HEY TIME! STOP MOVING WILL YOU? Let me get going first before you do!" Hahas..

I enjoyed my time with IRENE too! Laughing and crapping with her. She is the one who never failed to warm my whole soul and changed me into a hyper person for the day (:(:

Someone out there bound to disappoint me a lot.
It hard for me to trust in you again.

What a friend are you?

2010-05-08T04:26:00.005+08:00

It is really very heartbreaking to see all the things that are currently happening now..

So much so I wish to say out to them right smack at their face.
At a second thoughts, maybe not. It kind of not worth it. Waste my saliva only.

Some people just wouldn't notice or remember their mistake after being told.
It really tell me how pathetic can they be.

They can ask you to lend them your things and not returning it.
Things I don't get it: Hmm.. I'm really wonder how can you place something into your pencil case BLINDLY? Not even notice that it not yours.? "Best" part is you need people to remind you.

If you said I'm your 2nd true friend then my question back to you is:
"are you serious or just trying to PMP infront of me?"
"Or is it you are just trying to gain favour from me? So that in future you needed help I would be there?"

Seriously I think I'm far too kind-hearted until everyone around me are taking advantage of me. Perhaps I think too much, but I doubt so.

The word trust is .... I don't know how to describe.
But it is an important thing. Especially towards friend.

It make me really wonder too. You're a true christian. Yet you are behaving this. Is that what you should do? I seriously don't believe you will "don't know anything".

Stop lying to yourselve.

As what said before, will you said this in front of me, and said another thing in front of those ppl?

There many question to it.
When you need people, I'm not the first person in mind you will think of. Not even 2nd person or 3rd person. It goes to show how "important" I am as a your so called "true" friend to you. Crap.

Dear Lord Jesus,
I pray to you, please let me see the true colour of them. Rather than I don't know anything and naively thinking they're always telling the truth. I don't want to be treated as a fool. At least when I know the truth, high chances I will stop frowning over little problem I see almost everyday. Amen...

Green Sunday!

2010-04-25T17:11:00.000+08:00

I hate sunday. But today, Sunday is a green day! The grasses out at the field is greenish!

I can't put myself to study. No mood.
Study=Homework.

Can't find my mood to off the computer and start writing and do.
Yes! I starting to become lazier.

Good for those who have the mood to start work!

Having some problem uploading photos on Facebook!
WTH!....

Wonder the Wonders!

2010-04-24T20:04:00.004+08:00

At times I couldn't stop myself from wondering what you people are seriously thinking about. Whom should I really trust?

That is life.
Life is always having almost 80% of people being bias.
-Insulting
-Accusing
-Backstab

No one could really be trusted. Don't be surprise that it includes those people who are very close to you.

If you don't feel that way, you must be very popular and famous one among your friends. Hence you trust almost everybody. Beware....
Don't get yourself cheated.
The feeling is reallly bad.

I really hate how the reality is. But have no choice but to face it.

Yesterday Speech Day,
I didn't enjoy a single bit at all!
I just felt as if everythings is turning against me.
I don't feel living in that school anymore as compared to sec3 and sec4 years.
Sec 3 days were definitely much much better.

Is it because I'm not cheerful that why I am not always in the crowd?
Or is it because they had some misconcept about me?
Or is it because they think I am no longer that committed to the CCA as I did in sec3?
Who will ever come forward to me and ask me?
Who will ever be like me? Notice and go forward and give words of encouragement to those who need?

I do realise or maybe not to many of you, that, I do always initiate to go forward to those who are super quiet. I will sit and listen to their thoughts, never stop giving encouraging words. Now these people whom I've talk to before, have became so much open and happier.

As for me? No one ever come to me.
Ya, I always lied to those who came to me. I really wish they would know how I really am thinking.
But I can't bring myself to say out.

Teachers are all ignoring me already. Not like in the past that they would always come to me.

Is it like what love had said to me? They're just making use of the students and not appreciate and "dump" them aside when they're no longer really much required? (something like that)

How pathetic that this world is so cruel.

I really can't stop myself from wonder more and more.
Can't stop myself from being so sensitive if I am.

A friend who is forever cheerful.
Never really come and understand what I am really thinking or being bothered.
Always in her own world crapping things which I tried to be interested in. I will look interested.
But when it comes to me talking, she'll never be interested.

I guess, I am too kind to always think for others and in return, I hurt myself. Not them. But me.

Brave Front

2010-03-28T00:54:00.003+08:00

Sometime the things that I had gone through,
do you all even know?
I have a very brave front.
Hence, nobody will know what am I exactly thinking unless I say it out.

Many would come and cry that they feel sad and depress over friendship or studies.
I would always tell them, it only a matter if you tell yourself to get over it or not, etc.

I do indeed feel very depress at times but I guess I am strong to pull myself up all by myself.

I do imagine what if this particular person gone through all the things I've gone through?
I guess she will just break down and jump off the building. Because of studies jealousy of hers, friendship and whatever. She is cunning omg!

Sometimes I a little fragile.

What going on these few weeks?

2010-03-28T00:44:00.001+08:00

I had a joyful & wonderful birthday this year as compared to last year.
Receiving the MOST NUMB and 1st time celebrated by friends themselves is the most grateful thing I ever had.
I really appreciate a lot! My lovely sweet Seventeen!

I want to thank everyone who is involved in this preparation especially to love and Irene!
Thank you so so much!

Time really past so fast! It is already 28th march.

After my birthday, had chalet opened by Irene at Coasta Sand Resort.
It was a great stay. (: And thanks to the guys for the BBQing of the food.
I love the SATAY DAMN LOTS! (Satay from City Satay)

After the three days 2 night chalet, had a day rest. I didn't do much homework.
Thanks Irene for organising!

On thursday 18th March, I went to Genting Highland.
Love the weather there.
I enjoy the scenery much lots on our way there.
I saw the KLCC! Twins Tower, Petronas Tower!!

I know it is very random. But I still really love love it. :D
I went there and being a lightbulb most of the time.

Bro is a great great brother loh. He took care of me despite having gf around him. haha!
He would buy if I want anything. But not too expensive, duh.
But sadly I am not the type who spent a lot.

Went to outdoor theme park on second day was fun!
I play the Space Shot. OMG! I screammmmmmmmmm all the way for the FIRST TIME!
I shall post the picture one fine day. maybe on facebook first most slightly. HAHA
My bro tricked me to the Flying Coster, known as the spiderman ride. OMG! got 360 degree turn!!!

It was really a crazy yet awesome experience. :D :D *thumbs up!*

Went back home on the third day. Buy goodies and sovenir.

Back to school was really a hectic week I ever had. I rushed all my homework. But only manage finish Math before school start, EL not a single bit.
For the whole week I've only completed the EL comprehension for 07 to 05.
Not the Oral Conversation..

Yes I am lazy.
Have to change that... :p
But I doubt so.. ;)

I'm so exhausted from all the homework already. No choice. I got not enough time to do my homework that school holiday week.

Sadded...

I hope to upload photos up soon!

Goodnights.

Emotion

2010-03-06T01:16:00.001+08:00

Well, readers who read this post now are those invited readers.
Just feel like locking my blog up. Nobody would even bother to read either. A blog seems to be a dead place for what it is there.

I must say, I've not been a good girl these days. I throw my temper a lot, got irritated easily real lot, and many stuff. I tend to hate myself these days.
I hate myself for being rude to my family..

I do suspect myself from suffering from depression. That is crazy.
Whenever something provoke me, I would clunch my fist, and shake a little. little out of breath and breathe really hard. I SIMPLY can't control it!!

I know, I don't stand in a crowd. Nobody notices me or treat me as a human being.
It pretty pathetic? Whatever...

Should I deserve all the assumption, accusion or tolerate all the rumors people are treating me?
I tried my very best to be nice to everyone.
I'm just a little quiet. But that does not mean I can be bullied!

I do want to be happy. A happy person.
I lost the feel of being a real happy person. But I know, I'll be happy in the nature. Landscape scenery...

Sigh...

What's Up!?

2010-02-26T23:12:00.003+08:00

The other day, went Irene house watched Matilda! It was really an awesome8 movie! XD
sad to say, the rental of that movie expire. I watch near the last part and off it goes!

I WANT WATCH MATILDDAAA!!! ))::

School was great with Irene around. yup. not so good with usual fake people around. how annoying can they be? Just some immaturity adult.

I started on my IDEATION like finally! :D

Went National Museum yesterday. The Mummy there is so disappointing. It don't look as what I expected to be. The Museum is so small than I expected it to be. I learn new things about the Egypt Civilisation somehow. I got bored half way through the tour. *heh heh*

Will upload pictures some other days. Too tired already today.
Had fun in Drama today. :D

JUSTIN BIEBER!
O.M.GOD.
his voice is awesome and he is only 16 this coming 1st March! :D

CNY Eve

2010-02-13T15:36:00.000+08:00

Love and Baby Bin Hong went to malaysia already for CNY reunion with family..
I misses the both of them. D:

Few picture of baby I've taken recently...
Isn't he cute?

Cheeky boy.. :D

Interacting with my grandma...
It is valentine's day tomorrow.
It is Chinese New Year tomorrow too..

Very looking forward to see my cousin. Not so much of my relative cause I seen them almost every 2 weeks.

Yesterday, love bring me out for dinner. I take it as a Valentine/Reunion Dinner with him. Ate Phad Thai. I'm so in love with this dish. Been craving since I last ate it 3 weeks ago. Finally yesterday got to eat it again!!! ^^ I am very happy yesterday. :D :D Enjoyed my time with him.

Irene went back to Indonesia yesterday @ 5.30pm.
Love went to Malaysia this morning at 3am.

It is the eve of Chinese New Year.
I hope to complete most of my homework by today. Shall go now.

Sayonarah people!

Celeb that I admire.

2010-02-07T18:37:00.003+08:00

I don't know what to post for today. So I will just share some artist that I admire. :D :D :D

Emma Watson! She is really pretty (: Young and capable.

Kristen Stewart. She is just so lady. Her hair style makes her super woman. I don't know how to describe but I just like the way her looks is. Simple &beautiful.

Taylor Swift. Rock star! Vocal Guitarist! X.X Awesome..
She even wrote her own song! How great!

Avril Lavigne. Her song :D

Rihanna her latest song makes me so ancient ancient kind of feeling.
There are still a few more that I liked.
The guy artist:
Robert pattinson, Kellan Lutz. :D

Among all, I would rate Kristen Stewart my TOP TOP most FAVOURITE artist.
Followed by Emma Watson!
The rest in no random order. :D :D

I'm obsessed with Caucasian! X.X Just that I don't know their name.

Will do something to my music player for my blog soon!

New Skin New Look

2010-02-07T03:14:00.002+08:00

The quote is really nice! Love it somehow.. (:

Is it time for me to let go? If everytime the same situation happen again, I'm the one gonna suffer each time. It not easy going through all of this. I need the God of Ear Listener. No one listening either. Cause I'm a can't be bothered person that no one would even be bothered about.

If I never get the wrong meaning of sophisticated, I want to be Sophisticated Young Socialite.. Being wise worldy getting me ready for the future world. That what I want. Yeah.

Just bathed. Helped my mum with the pineapple tart just now. I'm really exhausted now. Shall end this post early.

I am currently absolutely disappointed, sad, unhappy & can't be bothered anymore..
It not my fault. It is you that choose this path. If you can't control how you want to stop thinking the bad way and trust me, I guess you already chosen the path of hell. Best of luck anyway. I really need the power.

CNY Shopping!

2010-01-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today went out for CNY shopping with dearest.

Initially just thought of exchanging my shoe that all.
But along the way, saw many nice nice things and is cheap. So I bought it.
:D

I'm satisfied.! :D

Random day in school.

2010-01-29T18:33:00.000+08:00

How much I hate to say this.

How much I hate the fact that you people talk to me in such way.
I did not OFFENDED you, nor I deserve such tone from you.

I'm just purely asking right?

My passion will slowly be drifted to the end. I had to tell myself that " He is bias. He is choosing what is good. Not those who are maybe bad. He did not give others a chance. He seems to look down on those quieter one."

HELLO!? Don't even dare to JUDGE people by it's cover. Somehow I felt you are not fit to be the one teaching us. I mean you are really good. But perhaps I misunderstood you? Sadly the way you each session choose and pick, obviously tells me something.

I just hope I'm not thinking too much...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I must say, I really enjoy my time with girlfriends everyday in school for just percious avg. 30mins.
Jasmine is being more humorous than ever! HuiPeng, super funny reaction that I laugh at it times.
Irene, SHE IS ALWAYS LAUGHING DUH!. =D
Though she can really be super lame and laugh at little things. I just wish I can be like her. Just laugh and Smile.

It getting harder for me to cope with many situation ahead of me already.
I seriously need a BREAK!

Don't ever think you know me when you don't guys. I'm not really the one you think I am is what I am..!

P.s: Don't ignore me!

A New Year; New Beginning

2010-01-09T02:13:00.005+08:00

It the beginning of another New Year.
I hope this year will be great one although it will be really hectic for all O'levels.

Schools starts 5 days ago. And already, everyday my homework are piling up more and more.
Of cause, motivation and commitment is needed to encourage myself to determine to finish given work on the given day.

It hard to stay on. My mood is like roller coaster now and then. Up and down.
Seriously the environment I am in now, disturb me. I know I have to adapt to the environment.

I try..

Schools was great with girlfriends around. I'm starting to feel the books and subjects again. I hope I don't lost them again..

Mr Phang is really a nice VP. His word of encoragement, totally, ARMY STYLE. :D

I try to remind myself not to bother those bitches anymore.
Cause life is short.

Why bother hate or envy or jealous about someone elses?
Live every moment of your life meaningfully.
I hope I can. And I mean I WILL!

=D
hahas.

O'Levels result out on Monday, am EXCITED and NEVOUS! I hope I do well in my Math.. I want to DROP!

*positive thinking towards a NEW YEAR!* :D awesome.
hate this skin already. cause it same with someone elses.
New Year must have new skins.
I try to find time. Maybe not this week. Let's see how things goes...

Merry Christmas &updates

2009-12-30T22:00:00.003+08:00

Merry belated Christmas to ALL!

I shall make this post short and quick. Tell you why later.

Went Wild Wild Wet with Irene yesterday. It was my first time going there.!
*I know I sua ku okay*
IT Was an AWESOME day. Though irritated by the rocks on the floor.
Rides were super thrilling.. :O

Went dinner after that.

Then head down to T3 with Irene, her Mum and her Mum's friend, Aunt Angela. :D
Went to play the Segway. It was an awesome ride.

Unfortunately I fell down after 6-7 rounds. I bang onto Irene's segway and I fell forward. The handle landed on my wrist. Now it is still swollen and pain. Hence typing this post, my wrist it hurting and tired easily.

Irene's 18th Birthday!

2009-12-18T23:59:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, IRENE!

HELLLO sister!
Reading this?

ONCE AGAIN I WISH YOU A VERY HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! =)
Erm... this the fifth time I'm wishing you again? :p

On the 17th, organised a surprise for IRENE.
She is indeed shock! Hope she enjoy the plans I plan for the day and surprise suggestion location by De Ying. =)

Thank you love! Without your help, it wouldn't be a great surprise! hehe.
Photos are up on facebook. Click here for more pictures.! lazy upload here.

Release of N'Level Results

2009-12-18T23:58:00.000+08:00

EIGHTEEN December Two Zerozero Nine
is the release of N'level Results!

Went school with Irene.
Walking from her house to school was a pain for me in heels.
Asked my maid to bring my shoe down of cause to change up.
Met Jasmine and Dewi outside school and went in togther.

Wow. Everyone was indeed anxious and had "beautiful" hairstyle.
You know what i mean? :D

Quick glance while waiting outside school.

Thanks god!
I manage to get myself a good points but i wasn't really satisfied with it.

Mainly I'm looking more on my subjects.
When I gotten my result slip,
I have a quick look through and this is what I saw,

Three
Three
Three
One
One
One

Wow. Bring the one(1) and the three(3) together it became 13.
I really had a good fate with the number 13teen.

Anyway, am happy to see that my English got a grade 3!
SUPER DUPER HAPPY! =D
never gotten a grade 3 for ENGLISH before! Thanks Mrs Norlinda!! :D

But wasn't happy that I got only three ones.
At least the result slip look nice with three same same grade.
Others with 4 distinction had a Two, One or Three in their cert.

Congratulates to all of those who scored 4 distinction and above!

P/s: Sara, I TOLD U! You will do well! Now you're same same as me! :D

Another piece of good news is,
most of my classmate make it to Sec5. Happy for them, but I don't really give a damn.

I'm more HAPPY TO KNOW that DEYING, IRENE,JASMINE AND DEWI ALL BEING PROMOTED!

Well yeah, all of them chose to go sec 5 and not Higher Nitec in ITE.
heheheheee!

Hope the plan will realised & we all can study together! :D :D :D

I also hope that I could at least be less lazy and work harder for Os.

O LEVELs here weee commmeee.... =.=?
=(

P/s: Irene! SO HAPPY YOU MAKE IT! YAY! Then you wouldn't need to leave! :D :D :D
Dewi! So Happy FOR YOU! (: Work hard next year! Don't waste it. Spend less time with ur bf.
DY.love! I knew it you could make it toooo! :D Be confident ma! (: Play less work harder harder! :p

Brian 1st Birthday

2009-12-15T18:50:00.004+08:00

28th November 2009

This post is rather late.

Brian 1st BIRTHDAY!

That brian. The one carrying him is his mummy.

That Phaedra. Remember her =)
Snoorring.. Haha..

Phaedra giving out jelly.!

Brian's Mickey Mouse cake!

Phaedra... Photo credit to Eddie Tay

Brian... Photo credit to Eddie Tay

Drama Senior Farewell Party

2009-12-12T01:33:00.005+08:00

Met anu outside school before entering school for the Farewell party.
Saw kewei and denzel outside school too.

The cake bought by our Drama Teachers..
It says: Happy Farewell To Our Graduates.

That the photo above of us senior taking photo with the rest.
That all I have. I actually saved the picture from both kewei and denzel's blog.
Can't find it else wheere already.

Me and Denzel was told to stand at the center by our beloved Drama teacher.
Cut cakes too. And chairman and Vice had to cut the cake together. well well...

Anyway. It was awesome to go back to drama with Sec4s around.
Really.
The feeling was super different when I went without them.

Had great chat with them.

Eat lunch>Farewell Gift to Senior by junior>Photo taking> Cut Cake>Eat cake

basically that was the event.

After which, went home put things down and head down to CP to meet the rest for pool.
Went pool with Sara, Kewei,Denzel,Claudsen,Cherrin, Zixian and Zarinar.

Anyway, thanks a lot to whoever spend the effort in organising and the gift for us.
Really love LOVE IT!

Beads below was broken when I found them in the bag. I cant seems to place them back together! =(
Mama Mouse! LOL!
I never regretted joining Drama as my CCA.
Really had wonderful memories there with all of you, Dramalites!

If it wasn't two person, as I mention before, I wouldn't even still in this CCA and had achieve little things which I might not even had if I had gone to other CCA.

Though there are good and bad times in Drama, but the love within everyone is truly PRICELESS.
Don't know how to put in words but really Drama ROCKS! =)

All the best DRAMALITIES! SHINE and DO WELL in 18th DEC.

Say Hi To Kitty!

2009-12-08T23:59:00.002+08:00

Say Hi to Kitty!
No I mean say Hi to Alex! =D

This cat belongs to our restaurant A.Manager.
Manage to snap this nice angle of him while I was working.
Of cause when there's no customer. :D
He is really playful. HAHA

I realise yesterday, whenever he's around, there will be customer.
On Sunday, he was no where to be found. No idea where he went. True enough, there wasn't much customer as compared to yesterday.

I started to like my job more. I mean enjoy working there, not the job I'm suppose to do.
Interacting with some customers really gave some me hard time understand what they're trying to say.

Today I'm off.
Watched some movies like Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince, Orphan, Merry Madagascar and Scoopy-Doo! :D

These movie kept me accompany for the whole day while Love is away for chalet. =.=
I don't really watched every single movie at a time. I would pause and watch tv, had dinner, bath and et cetera; and continue watching.

It great!

p/s: I'm currently missing two person right now. Love and the small little naughty boy (: . =(

New Moon!

2009-12-07T13:39:00.002+08:00

New Moon is AWESOME! It so much much better than Twilight. =) Those fans of Twilight should go watch New Moon!

Caught this movie together with Irene and Jasmine over at Vivo last saturday.
It was really awesome! :)

First day working

2009-12-03T01:35:00.001+08:00

First day working at Clarke Quay is truly very tiring. Especially during "peak hours" to the tourist at Clarke Quay.

It was truly an eye-opening at the language I encounter at certain customers. Some is really very friendly, some are just =.=! . I wouldn't say it their fault but mine. I could hardly understand customers from India who speak English.

I think I'll understand better when I interact more with them. Unlike being with Cheena Singaporean. English = Cheena speaking for them.

Different culture, different place, different way of speaking.

My heart nearly pop out a few time while I was handling heavy trays of utensils. It is really heavy, yulky and oily. Thankfully I didn't drop any plates, cups or any other things that is made of glass. *Thanks GOD!*
I do drop a few things. Like the trays. And the cups fall off they trays while I was cleaning it up. BUT it on the table. So THANKS GOD again! *phew!*

I had great time there though it was tiring. My manager and collegue is very friendly and helpful. =)) I was posted outdoor, so it was super challenging and busy as compared to indoor which only busy for like 30mins to 1 hour only.

Was so busy that I couldn't take a break. I wanted to. But I don't know where to sit. CAUSE today got VIP. So all of us couldn't take a break. T.T

I don't think I ever want to be a waitress anymore.

Because the most scary things is, I SCARED I DROP PLATES, BOWLS OR CUPS made of GLASS!! T.T I hope nothing goes wrong for the next few months!!

Hope I will do better as days goes ahead!

Happy Day!

2009-11-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

Went out with sister Irene today instead.
Morning to mid afternoon had to stay home and look after my grandma.

Before going out already had plans of things to buy.
4+ then head down to CP met Irene & went look for my black jeans. Happy to bought one.

Then look around at various shop for screen protector and Micro SD card.
Bought it at the interchange there. Happy! It for my dad.

Then head down to Expo.
Went John Little Sales and IT Fair.

Bought Micro SD card over there. Happy! It for my dads anyway.

Walk around IT Fair, first when we enter, we saw Cynthia. She's working for Toshiba.
Too bad for her. Didnt saw her yesterday, else I would ask her to be my sales person. Then she can earn 20% commission. She said Geraldine is working too. I didn't saw her, but Irene did. hahah.

While walking around, Irene saw a pathetic guy. haha. I shan't name who, but it damn suay for her. She said she don't wish to see anyone she don't want, ended up she saw it. I saw the pathetic guy too. Near him, it a girl. Both of them are my classmates.

Left there soon as it is pretty late. Went to John Little.
Walk walk....
The mask not so nice. We didn't get it in the end. Irene bought many chips! hahaha! She says she want to destress herself. LOL! More of gain weight. It good for her anyway. =)

Then went customer Service ask again regarding my mum's Nets. They had it in the lost and found file.
Thanks God lor!
Yesterday went there ask the stupid lady manager said don't have.
Today I go ask the people seating at the customer service counter, a guy, flip open the file and find for me. The moment I saw a silver POSB with my mum's name on it, I SUPER HAPPY that found her card!!!

If I never go Expo today how? I kept thinking....
What will happen in the end to my mum's card? Will they return to the bank?
Sigh... Anyway I'm very happy and lucky today. hehehe. =)

Thanks Irene for the company.
THANKS SISTA~!

New Notebook!!

2009-11-28T23:47:00.002+08:00

Mum bought me a new lappy/Notebook!
Super super happy! but....

I still have to share this lappy with my brother.
History will repeat. whenever he came home or at home, I have to let him use. Give in to him for the past two years cause been sharing as his computer spoiled. Really break down old already. Let him use cause he seldom at home, back from camp weekend or depends. So let him use lor. He go out then get to use.

And today bought a new laptop. My old computer, a destop one, already more than 10 to 11 years old. SO nice of her to choose today to BREAK DOWN. In between this years, bro did do some reformating and buy some new one to replace the old one inside the CPU. Laptop more convenient to use la. Can carry around the house I want. hehe.

Anyway back to problems, so I don't really feel happy about having new one of my VERY own. But, nvm. I shouldn't ask too much la. As long as he took great care don't damage, I should be happy already. YUP!

Currently I'm using it. Everything is so new and different.

From keyboard to the screen to the enter to the new Windows 7. Gosh!

Wanted to get RED for laptop. But the speed and whatever wasn't as good as the another that only offer BLACK(the one I bought.). However it okay lah. I can always get stickers or anything I want if I want to. :D

AHHH!! Love the new smell of the laptop. :p

Drama Photos!

2009-11-28T00:25:00.000+08:00

The photos on the trip to Singapore Conference Hall...

Drama

2009-11-25T17:02:00.000+08:00

Went back for drama today!
*happy*
A place where the word H-a-p-p-y is spelled!

But the spirit and feelings is no longer there anymore. Just something is missing in drama. Not our previous instructor, but I guess it the senior. HAHA! Just not use to it I guess?

Anyway, the skit is rather funny. Enjoyed laughing at some entertaining part. =) *clapclap*
But there are many rooms for improvement & must improve before the 18th Dec!

So all the best dramalites! Will go back and help when I'm free since the instructor is no longer there. (: I've fate in all of you!

Yup. After which, went Singapore Conference Hall look around at 2.15pm. Took lots of picture during the trips. =) Apparently, my adapter had some problems. So I couldn't upload the photo! D: SAD! But will upload soon after it listens to me.

Back at around 3+ I guess? Didn't notice the timing.
Anyway, home sweet home..
Having great headache since morning when I woke up...
Just ate my Breakfast-Lunch. So I'm too full to sleep. D:

Tired!

Time

2009-11-25T03:37:00.003+08:00

I had three two girls in mind which I want/ wish to go out with and had rejected their request, asking me out for the past two months.

They are:
Sara
Esther
Shirlia

I'm looking at this week for a slot for one of them.

Sara. Hmmm... This sunday looks like I will be free. How about that Sara? =D
sorry that I had to reject you many times. Your timing that time and mine, cannot work out.

Esther... She booked me in december. Hopefully I will be free.. Gonna work soon.

Shirlia... Hmmm have to see how. She has her clique slacker. HAHA!

Of cause not to forget my dearest Irene! She has been busy looking after her cousin and friends who came to Indo for holiday or for reasons. She is a good tour-guide! Hence, haven catch up with her lately. But we did it through phone! :D

A date out with Jasmin sis. WHEN WHEN WHEN??? Weather doesn't premise. =( I'm looking forward anyway! :D

To Love, I came across someone's blog and I do agree we don't need money in order to go out. But we can't resist to spend some while we are out. =p Somehow or rather, we still spend. End of the day we told ourselves, "this is the result of going out. Spend huge loads of money." I think we have to work it out ourselves to solve this "money" problem. hehehe.

I know I had to find time for my friends and love one.

This week will be very fun-filled. Got to spend time with my families, dramalites and love!

Excited!

Sims2 and Notebook

2009-11-24T15:30:00.000+08:00

This week, I am so looking forward to a new notebook which my mum might buy, this coming Saturday if my bro finds a notebook with requirement he wants and the budget.

Sad things is, it should be meant for me. But I still have to share with my brother until he got his own laptop for school use. Which means, need to wait up till next year after my birthday. T.T I hate sharing of computers with brother, because he would always get to use it instead of me. *argh!*

Think in another point of view, should lend him use also when he want to. Because he seldom at home as he was in camp most of the time. Plus, if I need help in computer, he would help me do. Should treat him nicer lah. To be fair.
(But I always want my very own.)

Being the youngest in my family, can be nice can be bad. I had to learn to look at a positive side as I am actually quite fortunate already as compared to other teens of my age who aren't that lucky as I am.

But cousin Jocelyn wouldn't have much of this problem now, because she doesn't had to fight for a computer anymore. Except her mummy. HAHA! :p

Sims had always been my favourite game. I like to build my own dream house there, of cause using cheat code, else where would the fun comes fast? And controlling the people in Sims. =) How great it can be.

Recently, I borrowed Sims2 from my friend with expansion pack, Seasons! (I wouldn't name him/her here, else I would be killed =p) Thanks a lot for lending me. :D

The computer I am using now is super slow and old. So if I would want to play, it would be super laggy. Thus, I am looking forward to the new NOTEBOOK hopefully it would be purchase this Saturday. *hehehehe*

Dear friend, if you are reading this, I would have to return you at a later date. =p I couldn't burn or anything. So have to be Original. Until I got my pay, maybe I would go get one. =)

Updates for LONG!

2009-11-24T01:45:00.000+08:00

Hi readers.

It has been soon a month since I last posted here at Blogger! Those who are curious about why I didn't update is that I am getting lazier to type something here.

Perhaps is because I always wanted some photo in it, hence I lazy upload in turn, I lazy to post anything! But that not really the point. I'm stuck at Facebook playing my Airline Manager. Go search it and play. It quite nice as I am always interested in airline areas. Especially AEROPLANE! :D *hehe*

I've forgotten much occasion outings with friends already. I don't know what to post about. Even the Halloween Night with friends at Pan Pacific I also didn't blog any. Basically I will post picture that all. Like always let the picture do the talking. HAHA! :D

Lets start with Halloween!
Halloween Night!; 31 October 2009

Took train to Harbo, went for lunch at Mac.
Then we went to Toys R Us to find for Halloween stuff. Sadly they've moved the entire Halloween stuff to Hereen @ Orchard. D: SAD! T.T
Went to few store at Vivo to find halloween stuff but there wasn't any which we wanted.
So head down to Sentosa after which.

The back view of the three guys plus IRENE with a newspaper on her head as her "hat"! HAHA!
The ladies! :D
Me, Jasmine, Irene (:
Oooohhhh my sister, Irene.!!
Hearts her alot! :D
Look stupid here... -.-
At around 5+ we head down to Pan Pacific Hotel.
Bath, change up. Make up, style here and there etc..

That me and Irene. (:
All of us! Ready for dinner and PARTY!
Me, Irene, Gabriel, De Ying, Danial, Jasmine.
Dinner was okay. It a buffet. Wish to eat a lot, but the food somehow, super filling.
But I love the vegetarian fried rice. Super nice! :D
A clown make some balloon for us.
hehe and after dinner, had a photo taking again.
Back to the hotel, I took some night scenery.
Then we had some blackjack games and 21 point. Using Peanut as our "money"! hahah! It was super fun! :D
at around 11.30pm, Sadly, Irene and I had to bid goodbye to the rest. They can't stay over. D:

That night, Irene and I watched Cartoon Networks. HAHA! was waiting for our POWERPUFF GIRLS show, but it only played for 4 mins only then the show ended. AHH! Then waited for Dora the Explore. It didn't play! D: aww...

Then we went chit chat at the balcony looking out at the scenery for almost 2 hours plus. Had great time with her (:
Next day,

Breakfast wasn't that filling. But still would love to eat again! :D
wanted to take second round but most of the food are fried if not finish. AH!
Can't eat too much too cause swimming after that.
Prepared for swimming!
Blah blah blah... The End!
Had great time with friends and IRENE especially (: ^^

P/S: Girl I know you are too! :D *hehehe*

More picture at my facebook album. So do check out if you wanna see more!

Danial's 16th Birthday 11.11.09

Went out with same friends again out at town celebrating Danial's Birthday!

Blah blah blah. We Went Arcade after Taka.
At ION Orchard,
we girls as usual took photo in the toilet. GOSH THE TOILET IS PRETTY (:
Thats IRENE! (:
JASMINE! :D

The End!
That all I guess.. Soon will post picture of Lee Bin Hong! :D

2009-10-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

Picture to share!

2009-10-29T23:28:00.015+08:00

I'm back guys! For PICTURE!

This is my DNT final completed Artefact!
Taken when in the mid of completing the Journal...
It comes with four sided compartment.
I named it as Rubix Coffee Table..
Can put CDs.. Playing Chess.
and even having a meal!! :DThis is the view of my completed project!!
I nail, screw,spray paint, etc.... by myself!
I'm satisfy with my completed artefact. Months of hard sweat is all worthwhile! =D

Went CG T3 with ling. Then saw this Changi GP Festival.. :D
I went play of cause. The steering wheel is o.0!!
Anyway, got this for souvenir. We fix this together! :D
He made this wonderful western food for dinner!
It does taste delicious okay!
Someone who is not a chef and cook this all by his own creative is worth some rewards! (:
Smiles from me! :D :D :D

Outing on 13October
STEAMBOAT! POOL! BOWLING!
heh heh.. finally a picture with Joannnaaa!
That's Joey,Joanna, Me and Irene...
hehe! :D front camera is blur.
PEEP!
After Steamboat @ bugis,
went Neoprint had some pictures CRAZY TIME!... :D
the two guy is De Ying(The one wearing black) and Gabriel(White Shirt)!!!!

Love this picturee tons. !

Arcade then.... home
More pictures at Irene's FB photo album. Click Here!

15October2009
Outing with this girl named IRENE. =D
Before she go back to Indonesia...

Halloweeeenn comminggg!WOW yes! I see something inside the pumpkin!!
haha! There nothing actually...!
IDK why she show this face...
I look pale that day... D:
Guess who eye is this????
Guess who eye is this????
Irene is afraid of that freak she is holding...
Scream quite a few time over it! hahaaa!
UGLY!Look like Casper the Friendly Ghost; one of the ghost friend..
Ask her to posee one.. A model.
A treat for ourselves at Haagen-Dazs!

Bought Spongebob Shirt for this naughty baby.
Haha he was over excited over the camera.
CutE?

haha he is CUTE! :D
TQVM readers for looking through the pictures! (:

Meaningful things

2009-10-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

I happened to found this in someone's blog..
Find it real true and meaningful, so would like to share with everyone of you.

TRUST
Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to
suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may
result in separation. A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated,
"PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the
line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the
number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the
telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful
marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you." We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a
person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and
requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable
one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good
looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and
dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure
hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need
companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The
officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need
television." There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of
the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.
Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of
perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of
love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of
roses. The nightmare begins.

NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or
demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer
all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries
the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a
person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our
expectations..

RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will
either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because
of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always
forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without
considering if it would hurt the other party. A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you
will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered,"You should
appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire
and not you." Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad
relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be
another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the
way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the
donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey.
He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The
husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while
the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let
the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can
the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then,
they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up
the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the
husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it
on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the
donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell
into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will
everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will
be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is
clear..

BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his
home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son
was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man
ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into
pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to
the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he
finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the
boy woke up from the surgery and saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently
said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are
my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home and committed
suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or you
wish to take revenge. Think first before you lose your patience with
someone you love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones and hurt
feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference
between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is
greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions
we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

Random thoughts....

2009-10-25T01:15:00.000+08:00

Whenever I surf the net, thinking back,
I realise,
I was always left out by many people..
I know problems must have lies within me, but no one understands.

Thanks Sara for always asking me out at the wrong time, wrong mood of mine... ):

I should be working hard for my O level maths instead, but I'm practically slacking. I work hard now, no A1 will be assure to me. I will ended up retaking next year. So I had this bad mindset, why bother work hard when no help was given to those NA taking O level Math?

I thought I could be way much happier with life and really GET A LIFE MORE after N. Things don't go that way.. I'm somehow bored with everyday stories except being with cute baby and love company.

Tired, exhausted mentally.

I want to be a tourist for one day! Even if it is in SINGAPORE, I don't mind!

Halloween coming, I'm waiting for dearest IRENE IRIANTO to come back from Indonesia and see what plans she can think of and ENJOY.
I miss this girl a lot already. Her laughter, her emo-ish, crazy mind. Oo.0
*hehe*

Wait, not to forget about JASMIN sister! She said will meet up with me soon after my Os and bring me to somewhere. Erm.. Not sure where but looking forward..(:

Someone said, don't ever regret in life. But I'm really trying hard not to. Perhaps I need to put myself in a tub and think think THINK!

I want to control how my life to be! And not by others, neither by fate.
I need to find ways to handle. Hmmm...
Being weak is not something to be proud of.
Being STRONG is something we should be count upon.

Some advice..

The word "Trust" had a very strong meaning in it.
To me,
if it is broken,
you will never place it back.

Trust is like a glass.
Once drop and broken,
you can never place the pieces back.

So never break someone trust towards you.
Once you do, you can never gain it back easily.
It not like placing broken puzzle back to one,
but like a glass pieces.
It will only leave you miserable no matter
how hard,
you tried....

N'level is OVER!

2009-10-13T01:23:00.002+08:00

Talking about celebration after N,
tomorrow going for a Korean BBQ Steamboat Buffet with friends! GREAT!
The day I have been looking forward to. =)

It a joy for most of my friends but to me I still have to study for my O'level Math real soon after I relax myself a bit.
Programe lining up!
Movies, Audition, Beach with Irene, Makan with close friends etc..

Hopefully still got chance go Malaysia. (:

Today paper was DNT. It sucks.
The question for Part A was unexpected.
Stupid enough it gave us tons of drawing new/modify the idea of the design.
HATE IT! Argh...

Whatever, it's over. (:
Hoping for the best... X.X

Post-Exam Time!

2009-10-11T18:06:00.010+08:00

Tomorrow will be the last day for my N Level!
Finally!! *clap clap*
But, I still got O Level Math and Chinese to go... sigh....
Anyway here are some picture taken during the hectic period!

YES! He is back! =) This little cute and naughty boy!
He just woke up when I took this picture...
Back home to Singapore and he couldn't wait to play his tricycle. :D
The lantern he is holding is from his grandma.
Looking happy!
Naughty boy wearing an adult slipper.. smart don't he?
Going gai gai lo! Sleepy eyes of his.

This little hippo and card is from my dearest Chemistry teacher, Ms Widayah!
She gave this to all her students.. How sweet right?

This picture was taken before the N level starts.
Hari the creative guy ever. The Indian guy in the picture.
We were all given the Teenage magazine by E-gen and he ask us to donate the poster if we doesn't want it to him. So he could decorate our class back notice board in replace of the ugly decoration by someone. LOL! It was unique I would say because we are recycling unuse paper.
A better view of the notice board.

On the 26Sept, went for my cousin's daughter 1st month.
This is his daughter, Anya Lim. Yes! She has the same surname as I do!
Anya... Staring at people.
Spot me? I am the one carrying Anya.
Beside me is another little princess Jia Xue (:

On the 27Sept,
Both my parents belated birthday celebration. Because want my bro to be there to celebrate.
Bought Durian Cake from Emi-Cake shop. It delicious. (:

Last day in school before the N'level and O'level study week.
Last day for those not coming for bridging course.
Irene, Me and Shirlia. I look horrible D: Pale...
Cliques camwore in toilet.
Dewi, Irene, Me and Jasmine Ng
Shirlia, Dewi,Irene,Patricia and Jasmine Ng!
Hi sexy ladies.
Let's squeeze in!
Do-Re-Mi-Fa-Soh!
Trying to be bad girls?
WE're NICE! Love you girls (:
Hello! =D to camera man, Jaryl. Shirlia face is cut.
With my closer friend, Irenee
That Suranti on my right, from Sri Lanka.
She is very humorous (: Like her!

This was a gift given by Irene, JasmineNg, Shirlia and me to Dewi for her sweet 16th birthday on 16september..

All picture is shared.. Will post more on Facebook!
I am so looking forward to Tuesday, outing with groups of people who went to Joey&Joanna's birthday, going for a FEAST at a Korean BBQ Steamboat Restruant. :D Love is the planner. GREAT! =)